Pebbles...

Apart from the fact that Sister Amelia told me to be honest in one fine moral science class ...I have yet to find a concrete reason to be honest. Concrete from the point of view of morals and ethics..! Yet as I try and tell people to be honest I must try and find out the motivation for being honest.. Why should one be honest? That is an interesting question ..! Interesting because every sense in this world tells us that dishonesty pays . You can cheat and get rewards ..what are the rewards of "not cheating". Lets not get into the God bullshit...! What are actually the rewards of being honest in this world? In answer to the question ...I feel I just know my motivation. I dont know why should you be honest ,I only know why should I be honest ..and I spell them out... 1. Honesty leads to a simple and elegant answer. For example when some one forces you to drink ..you can say "today is tuesday..so i will not drink" ..or you can say.."because I dont feel like"....

At the cost of sounding noo much of a negative ...or maybe at the cost of sounding too much of a loner. I feel that at the end of the day not only me but everyone else is alone. Alone in the sense that there is a singularity for every relationship.. Which put simply means that there is a breaking point for every relationship..freindhip ,love,lust etc etc. At some point the best of these fail and we should learn to accept that the only thing left with us is ourselves . I dont argue this point with anyone because then it leads to superflous arguments and stupid cliches ("no man is an island") or even heartfelt suggestions("u shud fing a gal")....! The point of the argument is not getting over solitude ..but enjoying it. If one looks at it I am not selling this idea to anyone...its just there. If you have the courage to look at it in the face you will see it. Thre is nothing negative about it. Know the singularity of your relationships and learn to accept that even the...

This day .. Swinging between the hopelessness of existence and the reward of living, as I sit , memories flood me.Past present and future..yes future. So here I am where I am ...living and existing both at the same time and both simultaneously not possible. I want my mind to go blank ..just blank. I don't want to think...I want to feel the night . A night where superflous music rocks dumb minds and lulls one into a trance. A trance which is much more peacefull and happy than being and acknowledging what is around...Confusing and comforting. No structure or shape ..an amorphous present . A drug induced stupor of good living and comfortable existance under which lurks the "monsters under the bed of calvin"..Kafka would have been proud.. Jung prouder still... How can a "new year" change anything? How can any amount of resolutions make us better? How can pretty pink and roses cover the smell of the gutter we call the world? How can we cover up a drain hole and paint...