Pebbles...

Recently , during a session we had a personality test and some team building exercises(the ones corporates generally organise). And there were three tests on personality, The Johari Window, Personality types, and FIRO-B tests. While seemingly innocuous and simple, I was struck by the counterintuitive results of these tests. The things that came out probably were so shocking for people that I remember the gaping mouth of a team member. It was a gape of shock at the tests ..not that they were shocking but they were true(well to a large generic extent) . I was myself astonished at how true the tests were and how close they were to my personality. 

 Delhi was never my favourite city , infact it was one of the worst cities I had ever vistied. Rough weather , Rash people and unfreidly vibes . I had visited Delhi perhaps once during my school times and once en route to an adventure camp. And both expierances had been bad..Perhaps due to the largeness of the city or perhaps due to the oversmartness of people here. That being said I moved to Delhi in late 2013 from Mumbai , December to be exact . And the incoming wasnt exactly welcoming. Long distances to work, bad traffic, really bad accomodation and a hostile work boss.  I somehow compromised and pushed on. Of course the weekends were planned on visting monuments , Qutab minar, National Museum, Going for cycling rides with groups like Bikat to Amer fort,Photowalks with walking groups etc. Pradeep from IIT visted and we went on a ride on the gurgaon highway towards jaipur , having snacks at a dhaba, went on a trek to Panwali Kantha with the Bikat group, took a course in cont...

 These last two years have been one of the most blank years of my life. Its as if everything somehow conspired to suck the joy out of my living. I stopped painting, writing, socialising..even studying...almost everything I enjoyed and had enjoyed for so many years. Its as if nothing excited me anymore. I remember the days when I used to go for photowalks, cultural shows, outdoor painting sessions , ceramics pottery, films ..and so many things. I used to have a small etching studio and remember taking long and exciting trips to chandni chowk for copper plates and nitric acid. I used to buy and use wood planks in many projects I used to build. I used to be excited and curious about almost everything. Then as if suddenly everything stopped..without reason just died. It was not corona or lockdown because I used to bake and make lebanese , mediteranean food and even bake during lockdowns ..It was something else and I do not know what it was or is... I stopped 'doing'.  Got into a m...