Pebbles...

Today I got up early morning to realise that there was no power. which meant that I couldnt see anything(the weather outside was really cloudy and foggy)...I couldnt make tea..I couldnt warm water ..And worst of all the hot blower which gave me some bit of comfort in this cold weather..that was off. The room was freezing and worst of all..I had to reach office because of an important meeting. And somehow the hopelessness of the situation was so bad that I almost took two minutes to sit down and think as to how suc small things like tea in the morning was something so crucial to my day that I was almost disoriented due to its absence. And somehow that made me even more sad. So I did what I generally do when upset. I sat down and thought. I kept feeling sad and kept thinking. It was one full hour of self pity and somehow a long pentup anger that surged through me in sinusoidal waves ..as I felt so alone..suddenly alone in a cold dark freezing room. For that one hour I felt away..a long ...

Sometimes I think ..and maybe its true that I am so much obsessed by myself that I rarely have time for other people. Be that as may..I feel that if I am able to understand even one guy..why shouldnt that guy be me. After all I am investing so much time in 'understanding' . If I have to improve why not me? If I have to love..why not me? Before someone gets me started on sharing and caring bullshit..I sincerely hope that he/she/it is not an Indian. Because I dont know why but I have lost faith in anything said by an Indian(Generally..I am sure there ARE great Indians..but they are too miniscule to make any real real difference).And why 'they' Indians? Because I feel that majority defines the state of the nation..the feel of the nation and the nature of reaction. Somehow I do have a feeling of being caught up in a melee of bumbling Idiots who do not say what they mean..they scarcely know what their true feelings are..shallow dumbasses who are given to loud rhetoric and s...

Sometimes I think ..and maybe its true that I am so much obsessed by myself that I rarely have time for other people. Be that as may..I feel that if I am able to understand even one guy..why shouldnt that guy be me. After all I am investing so much time in 'understanding' . If I have to improve why not me? If I have to love..why not me? Before someone gets me started on sharing and caring bullshit..I sincerely hope that he/she/it is not an Indian. Because I dont know why but I have lost faith in anything said by an Indian(Generally..I am sure there ARE great Indians..but they are too miniscule to make any real real difference).And why 'they' Indians? Because I feel that majority defines the state of the nation..the feel of the nation and the nature of reaction. Somehow I do have a feeling of being caught up in a melee of bumbling Idiots who do not say what they mean..they scarcely know what their true feelings are..shallow dumbasses who are given to loud rhetoric and s...