The world is a confusing place..no one actually knows anything much but has somehow figured how to survive. The beauty of survival and life is such that unless one makes an centrated and sincere effort to die ,the world will keep you alive. Weather that's beautiful or painful is another question.
What if you do not want to survive? Amd you do not want to die? Atkeast not by your own efforts ...? What if you just wanted "not to be" ?
Not to be ...in the sense that you just cease to exist...painlessly and animoysly...just dissappear for the world and even yourself. What exactly would such "not being" be ? Bliss ? Pain ? Nothing?
You keep the murmur about ' aim of living " ...point of life...purpose in life...wat does these actually mean when all of this is going to end in a pile of dead matter ?
Call it nihilism, fatalism whatever..calling it anything doesn't actually mean or solve anything . It just labels something and leaves it into a small nest box .that's it.
POINT of life ..point of living actually doesn't make any sense. It makes sense in a way because the alternative is a painfull process. Otherwise living is pointless exercise ..a drain on your efforts . Rimming practically towards your own death huffing and puffing ...doesn't actually make any sense.
Especially when one sees that lack of love interest or just a stake ...living each day actually is a burden to bear. Yes it might not be a very motivational paradigm but the mind and heart actually gives up...if you don't matter to anyone if you really aren't happy what is the point of effort...?
There are tow crtical milestones for any man ..and especially men. One is when he realises that it doesnt matter what people think of you as long as you have your mental peace and clarity and the second is when he realises that he will never be really loved ....
While the first gives a man immense comfidence and pleasure , the second breaks him . But both are a must have to have some kind of closure in life ....
The first is a liberating expierance and the second is a depressing one. A man who can cross these two humps with minimal damage will learn to be in a place of tranquilty and hapiness.
The first realisation comes very early ....and the second one comes a bit late....most men sadly miss the two and as someone said 'live life of quiet desperation'..not ever knowing why they are played around by almost everyone in life. The faster these two hit men , the lesser is the pain.
