Pebbles...

I never thought I will be able to write on such a vague topic as this but then I surprise myself(more often than not ..unpleasantly). As weird thoughts go I was just thinking that how much difference does death or separation of a very close companion/guardian makes to us. ... I mean separation as in permanent without any means of reconciliation. I think at the time of separation(also in death) it shatters the world frame we live in. We find it hard to accept the simple fact that he/she is out of our lives and maybe wat we know as "life" will change forever for the worse. Be it love , infatuation or simple emotional attachment we find ourselves without an anchor. But ... rather than being just foolhardy abt it have we given ourselves sum thought as to why such a thing happens... For one i think it such happens because we like inertia. Emotional Inertia. We take comfort in knowing that we "know" this guy. We are secure that this "guy"(or gal) is su...

This story is in continuance with the previous parts..scroll down and u will get the parts.. Suddenly he felt a stop in the pushing of the raft...He looked down and saw that the turtles had left .. the raft was swinging back into the sea stream..! And that was bad news...!!! At the mercy of the gulf stream , the raft will get further out into the sea and most probably will get sucked into one of the vortex that accompany such streams... Aiyratna could only grasp helplessly at the raft and look with sheer desperstion to danu. Danu had almost but given up and his eyes reflected a detachment Aiyratna found both irritating and dead ... Too much desperation can lead to a state where the mind goes blank and one sees only wat is infront of him ..The same was happening to him as the only thing he could think of were the swirling waters of the sea current and the almost transluscent green algae as it swam effortlessly with the flow... The water was surprisingly clear upto a few meters ...

Now that Dude Calculus has been elaborated by Pradip. I think there is a controversy on weather Dude is a continous or a stochastic Process. I strongly think Dudes are stochastic although in certain distributions like "fine Arts colleges" , "Humanities" like environment they can be taken as crowded enough to be continuous. However in rest of the situations they are stochastic variables. P(Dude) >= zero However like PSO(Particle swarm theory) we can assign weights and velocities to dudes) thus P(Dude)= [ p1 p2 p3 X v1 v2 v3.....] p1 = Position in society p2= Educational Qualification p3= Maturity while v can be the velocity of movement like v1= Rate of displacement(ie bike or car) v2= Want of upward mobility v3= Desire to spend cash Having characterised these dudes by such PSO variables , their movements and positions can be tracked stochastically and analysis will most probably show the optimum spacetime position of the dudes. Having thus gained a thorough k...

My dear freind Pradip has sent us this original paper on Dude Calculus... We will shortly be doin an analysis on basic Dude Graph theory and Markov Chains also following the same spirit of dude matics let us now have a brief session on "dude calculus" d(dude)/dt >= 0 (once a dude, remains a dude or becomes a bigger dude) d(k*dude)/dt >= k*d(dude)/dt ('k' dudes hanging out together would result in greater dudeness in time then when the dudes are saperated) d2(dude)/dt2 >= 0 the rate at which the dude becomes a bigger dude is also positive. d(dude)/d(money) >= 0 it cost's money for the dude to become bigger dude. which they become anyways. d(dude)/d(girl) = girls^(her intelligence) The more intelligent the girl is the more dude the dude becomes... (which in turn costs him money) dude has no additive inverse! dude + (-dude) = 2*dude Therefore, d(dude1 + or - dude2)/d(same girl) = 2*girls^(her intelligence) (an intelligent girl takes advantage of both the...

I am sure most of u have come across "dudes" who try too hard to be wat they are not and vice versa... But strangely these "dudes" have sum properties that are so similar that one can put them into a set which is a subset of "fake" individuals. Mathematically P(dudes) now dudes group/set follows a few axioms a. Dudes are Dudes( which is self evident) b. Dudes + Dude = Dude c. Dude+ intelligent = Dude+ Frustrated Intelligent(this is a transformation matrix) Dude Dude [ intelligent intelligent] = [ DI DI] Dude Dude X Here the dude is the transformation matrix and not the intelligent, In lay man terms dudes transform the intelligent guys and never vice versa. d. Dudes always spew gibberish. Ie. [dude]X ( any signal)= Total White noise This is sumthing like the infinite series propert...

While watching "the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" ..I was thinking (maybe due to the very plot of the film) ..That there are indeed memories in all of us that were the sweetest when they happened but are painful when recollected. There are memories which were true when they happened and their beauty lay in the moment they happened ..but when u look upon them they only disgust u at the fact that taken in some other time and context they lose their lustre and become dirty and artificial. We all have such memories ..and mind u not all of them are romantic. These are memories that make it difficult for u to break off ..to cut urself and decide on a future which u want free of past prejudices. Memories make it difficult ..but these memories are the easiest to overcome because of their very nature. They may have been pleasant but lookin at hindsight they become a part of a larger fakeness . Their whole artificiality aids in their ease of being forgotten. When they ...

Somedays ..like today..I was thinking of why so many ppl try to find the meaning of life. Why ppl try to find what is ethical non ethical..right or wrong. My thought was triggered off by a discussion with a freind i had yeaterday....but it got me on a tangential anyway. Why do we think and think of so many things ..judging our own decissions ...putting someone on a pedestal ..pulling them down. Making relationships ,breaking many others. Going about something as if we were damn right about the whole thing and then realising what fools we have made of ourselves. Creating delusions ,living in them..! Making ppl love us hate us ..ignore us. This actually doesnt make sense...Atleast to me. I sometimes see ourselves as ants scurrying around "doing " something always. "doing " doing doing...! Yes we are doers but to what final result. I am not goin to get senti on the "meaning of life bit" but ..then.. Forget it . Maybe I am just tired

I have had many a discussions where I have been told by hard nosed engineers ...with a sneer how everything is "scientific" deterministic and well...lets say "definable". If one appreciates the fragrance of a rose or jasmine these "scientific" guys wud give a patronising look and say " buddy those are just chemicals" ....Or maybe if u descriobe the beauty of rustle of leaves on a summer after noon they would get into the differential equations of wind and laminar flow....and maybe joke.."wat a day dreamer" or may be " he he we are not into this art fart thingy" I feel pretty strongly that these are people who neither know science nor know art. I strongly agree with David Knuths statement: "Science is what we can tell a computer to do....everything else is an art" and David Knuth should know ..he is the father of algorithmic computing. To enjoy art , ignorance is not an absolute necessity. On...

.... Expecting a pair of lifeless blue eyes to stare back at him , Aiyratna could only make out the faint outline and the leathery skin of what could only be ..Turtles. Turtles!!! "What in the name of ....!! What are they doing below ..!?? Eating the barnacles..The undergrowth of any sea craft...? nibbling at the rotting wood? What the hell are turtles doing under my boat...." Seized with the sudden panic that gnawing at their only platform of survival...Aiyratna laid on his stomach and started flaying the waters . The swirls were already grwing in the monsoon storm that had taken the raft apart at its seams ,,and Aiyratna's hands could only work up a tiny confusion to add to the already enraged waters..! And made no substantial difference to the two turtles clinging on to the bottom of the raft... With his strength failing and the raft randomly twitching and turning in the growing swell ... he gave up any struggle whatsoever...! he motioned to danu to kee...

I interrupt this story of mine to put in a few words about the film which i saw today on my laptop.."eternal Sunshine .." There are a few films which hit you on the face .."dil Chahta hai".."masoom" .."arth" ..and make u feel that u have grown up a bit after seeing them. I add "eternal.." to that list today. The film is a brilliant take on love and life after love which is rather sensitively potrayed without looking mushy or judgemental. I wish I cud put in words how the movie made me feel . All i can say it gave an alternate pesrpective which which I have missed in my mundane existence. Not that i cud identify with the characters ..not that i cud identify with the situation..but it made me feel slightly grown up. Its very very difficult to analyse a work of art ..a work of emotion ..Easy to feel it. What may be mundane to you may be strikingly beautifull to me. I feel that as intelligent beings we should allow for that. Its nothing ...

Aiyratna laid on his back and let darkness take him over.... A sharp jab of monsoon rain piercing his caked eyelids broke the death like reverie that he had drifted into...! Sweet sweet water washing over his body and running over his face..! He dared not open his eyes lest the dream would dissapear ..! His fingers twitched feeling the dead rafters of his "craft" ..making sure they were there . Wet creaking and almost rotten..but yes they were definitely there. Aiyratna opened his eyes slowly to take it all in..The dark menacing skies..The pointed raindrops..The swirling waves below . He took in his assistant rising and turning..as if refreshed into life by the rain sheets ... Yes he was alive...There was no doubt in that..! They sat up almost simultaneously and scanned each other..almost stunned to see each other alive...! Slowly Danu crawled up to him and held him . His eyes were dry yet both could only silently murmer their thanks.. A push again...a strong pus...

It was a professional hazard of sorts , Ariyaratna, thought mindlessly. Things had not been goin well for a couple of days ...The catch had been falling and it seemed the sea was taking out her frustration for overfishing by not giving any fish at all. Trawlers had returned empty and apart from a few mussels and crabs there was a very few trawlers returned even with half full stockers. Experts and shaman were of no help as everyone knew that with the monsoons catch would fall..this was expected ..but the drastic fall had left the entire village of Galle in tatters. No amount of incense burning could quell the hunger as it grew in response to the dwindling of the catch....!The local moneylenders were on a ball ... as men after men handed over their precious few items in return for a few pounds of broken rice sourced from the limitless but corrupt Govt fodders....! The village moved in slow agonizing motion as if it was inching towards a lifeless existence... To return without an...

Jan 3rd .another beautiful day ..!! Today i went to two loves of my life. I attended a physics lecture by Prof Yau and sketched to my hearts content at a design css. Its wonderful how sketching can set u free,I loved doodling ..making stupid mistakes..and making all over again. It was like returning to a home long lost. I had almost given up art after joining IIT but today was a rebirth of sorts. Its amazing how the pencil feels in ur hand ..free and unbound. You can create and destroy at ur own will..at ur own pace. The lines just flowed out ...I wish ppl wud understand how this high is better than any shot of tequilla. It was awesome ... I wish i cud have gone on and on. I think i was the happiest person in the world today. I feel like thanking someone up there for giving me such a life . A life I choose wat to do ..a life i learn to my hearts content a life where I can indulge in all my passions without justification to anyone. I cudnt make myself believe that I actually saw heaven...

Today is my birthday... I thought i wud feel different today . But pooh no such thing. Life is so full of these small disappointments. Like on the New Year Eve ..maybe on sumthing like birthday one shud have sumthing special ..well not exactly a gift . Lets say on his birthday a man shud grow a pair of wings which wud sprout on dot 12 and dissapear next day at 12. The only thing he has to take care that he shud be on ground at the ending 12. Otherwise when the wings punctually dissapear ..our hero will ..well be grounded. On a serious note ..I think birthday celebration not of life but of avoidance of death. We kno each year completed brings us nearer to our death .Then why do we celebrate birthdays..? Why do we let others kno that we are celebrating ..? Why do the aam junta wishes u on the simple fact that u have just moved closer to your end. Its as surprising an dark as wishing some one ..err "a very happy cancerous tumor" or say "congrats on that Cute Teberculosi...