Saturday, September 10, 2011

Al Vizag

If the CBI /FBI/CBI would take me a bit seriously I could reveal a very big secret. A secret so big that would make skeletons in cupboards tumble out like the aloo does in a paper thin dosa(OK , not a great simile..but too many dosas does play around in my head). Since no one here is listening , there is a place brimming with natural suicide bombers in india itself that just might be the place of prime recruitment for the Al Qaida. A place so naturally suicidal that it would make those sissy afgans squirm in their Pathanis (or watever). Its called AL-VIZAG.
I was introduced to these suicide bombers like many new entrants to this madhouse..on roads. I was taking an innocent lil ride to the town when it happened.In a highway filled with heavy trucks and swarming with public busses, a lone figure of a young cyclist descended from the dark(streets in AL-VIZAG are dimly lighted they serve the dual purpose of training and transport tracks)..and proceded to cross the road in a diagonal (never heard of poor ol Pythogoras..) all the while talking on the Cell phone and all the while looking on the wrong side. With the trucks zippin past this lone ranger..It was a sight that almost made me search for the second seat belt. But hey ..this lone ranger had further aces up his sleeve. He proceeded to "overtake" a truck ..yeah u heard right. Overtake a truck...!! And wait , all this overtaking business from the left side of the truck. My my ..Osama would have been proud of this young man's desire to follow the "tao of dying for dying sake"..! And all this while still continuing on his cell phone. While the brave attempt all good victims I steered my car clear of this strenous "training session".
As I entered town , I was thinking that this must be the bloodlust of the single black(well he WAS black) male..but lo behold I was to be jolted out of my reverie.
Uncl e(without helmet) garu on a scooter with two kids infront , a hippopotamus at the pillon and a thin girl behind the hippo(most likely hippo's sister) , entered the crossroad from right , merrily chatting on his cellphone with one hand while manouvering his machine with the other. Multitasking at Sucide bombing?
At the traffic light I stopped to take a break ...while a scooter with similar hippos stopped by near my car..and then suddenly out of nowhre the scooter along with its occupants just collapsed on my car. Yes,I swear I am not making it up(I have insurance papers to prove it). I was so shell shocked at the happenings till now at Al-Vizag that I couldnt react at all.
I mumbled "I am sorry.I was here" to the embarrsed Uncle and promptly wrote my secret report to the CBI..titled "Al -Vijag-The suicide bombers haven"


JOY said...

in A1 Vizag few r suicidal n few r killer ....wat to do ?? guess survival of the fittest ....either be a Chiranjeevi or die due to a Chiranjeevi :P

Piyush Das said...

Yeah..Joy, I wish these guys knew THAT !! ;)