Life sometimes puts you into a set of events which spiral into am abyss where you are falling fast and the supports you try clutching to fall off like straws
It's as of in years of living you have made no freinds or partners who have an emotional stake in you living.
Initially you think maybe you are not alone. People whim you have trusted will genuinely come to your help in these times.
As that illusion wears off slowly you come across the truth that they were really never there...
The dual shock of situations and the illusion breaking is like a stone on your chest that doesn't let you breathe
.... all vestiges of happiness and life suddenly seems meaningless ...hopefully you will survive...
I have never felt so alone
At some level I have come to a realization that I will never be loved or wanted by anyone except maybe my father who ..well anyway ..
that thing hits hard. that it is a very sad life for most men...some run thru the charade longer but yes its a fact that men will never be loved for their own selves but for a pure transational reason. Rest all is a cosmetic coverup...its a pretend play and if you do not play along ..most likely you will be bullied as being negative and dark etc....
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