Characteristics of hapiness...

Nope its not about pursuit of Naomi Cambell ..and then it may be also. In

keeping with my original goal of doing what makes me happy...I was

thinking as to what is it that makes me happy?Can I put it in some format of

thought? Can I build a set with it..?What are the characterisics of my

hapiness?Hmm..lets list it out..

1. Process as opposed to object- My hapiness has the characteristics of process

not an object. The difference is important. Because an object has very different

characteristics to that of a process in the sense that a process is dynamic while

an object is static.Neither is superior but then the essence of a process is that it

keeps changing shape and form and the bar keeps shifting.

2. Means - As far as my on hapiness is concerned..it shoudlnt come at the cost

of someone elses. I will not as far as possible try occupying someone elses

fields ..rather I will try to grow my own plants . This may seem as a rather

altrusitic point till one sees it only as common sense. If I tread on thers

happiness not only I create an enemy but I waste my resources trying to get

someone elses pants..which of course may not fit me properly.

3. Beauty- This is the final and the motive behind hapiness. If I find no beauty in the particular hapiness then there will be disharmony. Satyam Shivam sundaram ...Truth alone is beautiful .What is not beautiful is not the truth. And what is not truth is transient and hence is incapable of giving last hapiness. In a way this IS the final basis...The only basis. And beauty can exist in a spoonful of caviar or in Naomi Campbell ;)

Why dont you keep shut? you think you are too smart? Dont ask stupid questions. There is no answer . Thats known only to God. We are not suposed to ask such questions. Wat makes u think everything has a logic? Faith and trust makes the world go around. Someday you will grow up. Why dont you get married? Marriage will reform you. You need a girl not logic. Everything cant be explained by science. Shut up.

Morality and immorality...

Sometimes back I had an interesting conversation regarding some reality TV show called "Emotional Atyachar". In case you are from mars..this is a programme based on partners cheating on each other...! The discussion turned tangential to actual programme and someone made a comment "thats so immoral"...! Somehow post that discussion the pharse kept banging on my head "thats so immoral"...hmmm...interesting...!

So lets discuss immorality..

What is immoral? By what we set "moral" standards? Where is the reference for morals? Who defines what is immoral? Society, Religion or is there an absolute set of morals that we just "know". Do we just "know" that murder is immoral or we consider murder immoral because society as a majority sets the standards..?
For example what would be the morality of cannibalism in a cannibalistic society? Will eating a fellow human being be considered "immoral" in such a society? Will a cannibal "know" that a human kebab is "immoral"?
By that example wouldnt every society have its own "morals"..? Wouldnt that make morals a relative term rather than an absolute standard?
And if morals are so shifty that they change on geographical uprooting..what makes them sacred ? Why are we so after such a thing that is so so relative?
Why do we base our life on such morals?
Would it not be better to base our judgement on say something like "power"..?
Wouldnt it be nice if we just hand over our rule book to the guy with the biggest gun? Because then the "morality" would be backed by "power" and not arbritary standards? If the guy says its moral..it is..otherwise face the gun?

Wait a minit..isnt that what its all about?

What we call "society" is a set of people who have a hierarchial structure and the biggest guy sets the morals , isnt it? Call it the King, Parliament or Pope. Isnt it all about the "guy with the biggest gun"?
And whats the point of having morals without punishment? So who decides the punishment ? Again the guy who "can"..voila ..the "guy with the biggest gun"...
So at the end of the day its not about an absolute standard but a "jiski laathi uski bhains"...manual for morals.
Funny isnt it ? how we base our lives on the diktats of the guy with the "laathi"...
Hillarious to be feeling so sacred about it....!

Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde ;)

trying...

Trying hard to be a good ..trying hard to be bad

trying hard to be happy..trying hard to be sad..

..trying hard to laugh..trying hard to cry.

trying hard to welcome..trying hard to say "bye"...

trying hard to learn...trying hard to unlearn..

trying hard to be soft ..trying hard to be stern..

trying hard to remember ..trying hard to forget...

trying hard to imbibe...trying hard to beget..

trying hard to listen..trying hard to be deaf..

trying hard to be flexible..trying hard to be stiff..

trying hard to be blind..trying hard to see..

trying hard to live ,,and trying hard to die.....

a day ..that day

There will be a day when I will wake up..

shake the day and say to it..get up..

There will be a day when I will speak slowly..

and no one will tell me to raise my voice..

There will be a day that I will try to hold the dew drops on leaves..

and they will not break..

There will be a day when the sun sets on my palms..

and will make my hands red with its color..

There will be a day when I will be able

to pull the blue curtains of the sky to my windows...

I will wait for that day..for maybe when it comes..

I will be ready..

And then that will be the day I will sleep ..

and never ever will any one wake me up...

River Rafting -Chamoli to Rishikesh

1. Day 1-(10 Mar 10) The expedition team left Dehli at 0600 by bus towards Rishikesh. A light breakfast at Muzafurpur on the way was oragised at Chital Restaurant where members freshened up . The campsite (base) at Sivpuri was reached at 1415 hrs . A nutritious lunch at 1430 hrs was followed by a briefing by the guides and a swim across the river . Training in basic raft handling and gears were also imparted . The session folded up at 1700 hrs followed by light snacks and tea. In the evening a campfire was lit where we were joined by some other civilians who were a part of the camp at Shivpuri. Rounds of songs and discussions around the campfire were followed by some serious tips by the organisers ,Neeraj Dahiya and Sanjeev , on safety and camp rules.Dinner was served at 2115 hrs and we retired for the night.

2. Day 2-(11Mar 10) The day started with a volleyball match at 0630 hrs and breakfast at 0830 hrs . The team started for the site of launch of rafting (a few kms ahead of a famous stretch called “marine Drive”) .Two teams were created which manned one raft each. The rafts were inflated and prepared by the team themselves and put into water at 0930. The rafting teams in this stretch negotiated some rapids of grade 2-4 like “wall”, “three blind mice’ and “investment”. The most memorable of the rapids was the “Wall” which threw all of the members (from both rafts) into the swirling rapids.

The base camp (shivpuri)was reached at 1330 hrs . A well deserved lunch followed by rest till 1700 hrs put the team in a rejuvenated mode for volleyball matches in the evening. Campfire discussions were filled with animated discussions on the “wall” and what happened to each member after the “flipping “ of the rafts. An “antakhari” between the members of two rafts saw a melodious closing in for the night.

3. Day 3- This day was the drive from Rishikesh to Chamoli. The drive took around 8 hrs to reach a place called “Gauchar” which was supposed to be our base camp . We pitched in our tents and after a short lecture on camp etiquettes we had our dinner and retired for the night.

4. Day 4(13 Mar 10) Start of Expedition.

0810- We move from Gauchar towards chamoli by bus.

0930-Reach Chamoli

0930-1030- Preparation of gears and rafts . Warming up and stretching exercises by OiC and Guides.

1030- Breif Puja followed by flag Off of the two rafts carrying 12 members plus the two guides (in all)

Rapids encountered- Apart from many small rapids we encountered two major ones “KrishnaPrayag-1” and “KrishnaPrayag-2”.

1230- Stand easy break on the river with fruits and chocolates (from the dry bag)

1300- Start for Gauchar

1410- Reach Gauchar Camp site.

Lunch and rest followed by Evening games and Campfire.

5. Day 5(14 Mar 10)

0930- Packing up of Camp and preparation of rafts followed by rafting towards Rudraprayag.

1230- Stand easy on river bank

1330- Reach the Sumerpur Camp(off Rudraprayag Town by 5 kms) and hoist the raft to the camp. This was done so that we could skip a rapid called “Kakad fall” which was a dangerous one and is not attempted by a raft of this size because of the low width of the rapid. The raft was supposed to be taken by vehicle a few kms ahead of the fall from which rafting again could start.

1330-1430 Lunch followed by rest.

1600- The team visited the town of Rudraprayag (famous as the meeting point of Mandakini and Alaknanda). Highlights of the visit included a walk across a market called “Achanak Market”.

6. Day 6(15 Mar 10) The day started with a “shramdaan” at 0700 hrs in which the team carried out cleanship of the place by picking up plastic waste which was left over by tourists around our campsite.

0900- Leave Sumerpur by Vehicle towards Rudraprayag and reach in half an hour

0930 – Start rafting from Rudraprayag

1130- Reach the temple of Dhari Mata by raft and hoist raft out so as to skip the stretch in which a dam was being built.

1230- Travel by Road to Srinagar

1430 –Start by Raft from Srinagar towards Bagban

1615- Reach Bagban

Breif break followed by an interesting game (with paddles)by our guide Chotak, kept the teams engaged till campfire and dinner

7. Day 7(16 Mar10)-

1000- Start from Bagban

1230- Reach Dev Prayag(confluence of Bhagirathi and Alaknanda). Visit the temple of Gangamata.

1330- Lunch

1400- Start for Kodiali by raft.

Enroute the still waters provided us with an opportunity for testing our strength as guides and also for some kayaking tips .

1730 – Reach Kodiali and have tea at the stall there. Hoist the rafts to the banks . While guides camp at Kodialli we move to the base camp at shivpuri.

8. Day 8(16 Mar10)-

1000- Start from Bagban

1230- Reach Dev Prayag(confluence of Bhagirathi and Alaknanda). Visit the temple of Gangamata.

1330- Lunch

1400- Start for Kodiali by raft.

Enroute the still waters provided us with an opportunity for testing our strength as guides and also for some kayaking tips .

1730 – Reach Kodiali and have tea at the stall there. Hoist the rafts to the banks . While guides camp at Kodialli we move to the base camp at shivpuri.

9.Day 9 (17 Mar 10)

0815- Start from Shivpuri camp towards Kodialli

0930- Start from Kodiali on rafts

Enroute towards Shivpuri we encountered rapids such as “roller Coaster” , “Initiation” and of course our greatest nemesis “Wall”.

Our determination and grit came to the fore during the “wall” rapid when none of the rafts “flipped” despite the force of the water.

1330- Reach Shivpuri camp and have lunch

1415- Start for Rishikesh

En Route we do a jump from cliff before Risshikesh

1700- Reach tapovan and Culminate the expedition to the cries of “Jai Ganga Maata ki”

10. Day 10(18 Mar 10)- Visit to Haridwar

11. Day 11(19 Mar 10)- Return trip to Delhi

Ever been thre?

humne dekhi hai
un aankhon ki mehakti khushboo
haath se chhoo ke
ise rishton ka ilzaam na do....

sirf ehsaas hai ye
rooh se mehsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do
koi naam na do......

Parthasarathy Vs Kapaleswar

I had the oppurtunity to visit two sacred shrines at Chennai , the Vashnavite Temple of Partha Sarthy and the shaivaite Temple of Kapaleswar. Ravi accompanied me and took pains to explain the differing philosophies of both sects that revere the temples respectively..

Parthasarthy- This is the epitome of Vaishnavite culture and I could identify with it. Mostly because my family comes from a line of Vishnu worshippers . The temple was as usual spic and span and most rituals were similar to ones we did at our village . It was kind of home coming for me and as I sat in the courtyard I could not but marvel at the whole ambience of shlokas and worship..but somehow I felt that this was not something that I really identified with. I mean the vaishnava way of things. It sounded very polished and smooth. Fussy if you ask me...I waited for the next temple ..Kapaleshwar.

Kapaleswar- This is an opposing philosophy and that stood out immediately. And somehow immediately I felt that this was something which is closer to who I am. Shiva is a pretty cool god ..if you ask me and this "coolness" exudes in the temple. There is no unnecessary ceremony..and it struck me that this culture was a more "heart" culture than the refinement of Vishnu. To tell u the truth ,u cant help but fall in love with Shiva at the first sight. I dont really know why but as an aethiest i shud be denouncing Shaivaite culture ...but its difficult not to love him.Nice chap ...no fuss...everyone allowed..music dance(He is the lord of the arts) and there is an aura of casual acceptance. It was as if somehow He will accept you as you are..dirty,messy, uncouth..whatever.

Added to it are his sons Ganesh(i have yet to meet anyone who doesnt ike him) and Karthikeyan(I dont personally like him..chikna smartie). Awesome if u ask me..

maybe if I was given a choice I would choose shiva over Vishnu anyday...

Holi-dry-day

Holi has memories for everyone...

But I remember a particular incident that happened eons ago ...the thing that makes this incident stand out is the "out of box" solution that one my freinds thought of...

Holi in our locality was a semi community affair..Which meant that everyone had the free license to do whatever he/she wanted. Like all localities ..this was a free for all and lurking romances and unrequited advances had a ball..

I had a bum chum pal, Toni Arora, naturalised Oriya Punju(yeah that specis exists). And we were the anti-holi brigade . It was a party that owes its existance to destruction of our carefully kept comics at the hand of a "holi-vandal"(basically ..our Phantom Comics were covered with unmentionable colors thanks to indiscriminate "color-Playing"..but that story some other time)..

Now since we were the only two members and had failed to solicit any other citizens ...We had to take the ocassion of holi as a kind of propaganda(kind of Valentine day syndrome for Shiv sena)..So we decided that we wud stay "dry" come wat may ..It was a matter of principle after all.

But that presented us a problem. If we stayed at home ..our well meaning parents would force us to join the "celebrations" ...and moving around was rift with danger (baloons ...sprays..and the similar missiles). After discussions at a very high level(on the third floor terrace ..that was high enuf)..we decided that moving around was a better option(We knew that parents are a stubborn lot and taking a panga with them meant serious implications like "no mahabharat" for some weeks and that was unthinkable).

But how do we move around ? Cycling gave us speed but the area of attack of a spray was large and how could we escape inadvertant advances..

This is where Toni proved that he was a genius. His solution was simple,elegant and effective...

Raincoats.

How could I have missed that ? My admiration for Toni touched the Mount Everest. Freind, I am blessed to have such a genius as a freind.

But was it effective?

Yes It was ...Infact we both moved around in Raincoats (he had an yellow one and I had a dirty green) the entire day and managed to stay dry. Of course ,ignorant idiots were laughing on both of us for the entire day..but what the heck. Some where a man has to take a stand.

I have lost touch with Toni but If I meet him today,one of the first questions I am going to ask him .."Did u try this idea anytime later ?"

;)

The worlds second biggest hoax- Marriage

After religion mariage must be the hoax that everyone wants to believe. Each day I am convinced that marriage is a lose lose game . And I do not say it with the victory smile of a bachelor but with the wisdom of seeing closely as to how marriages are working out nowadays. People are so concerned about "working out" the marriage that they forget that marriage was designed for pleasure . If you are working at making something "just work" then whats the difference between your job and marriage..now now..please do not give me that sagely smile. I have just realised that married guys know as much about marriage as a bachelor..!

I have come to this belief that somehow the institution of marriage has run out of steam and logic. There is no need for marriage and the time has come for such a losing proposition to die its own natural death.

What I feel that like religion we shall soon run out of people "who believe in marriages" and then the world will be a happier place. Because of this unreasonable belief we have fights and ugly scenes. I would suggest that there are a few ways by which marriage itself should become redundant..And thats by providing the few factors which are the plus points for marrying. These are factors which are right now speeding up the death of marriage and rightly so..

Since men and women have different goals from marriage lets start by separating those . Ladies first ..So here we go!

1. Financial Security- More than companionship women marry so that they can die a decent death. By decent I mean the fact that it shouldnt be an insulting one. Penury is every womans worst nightmare (hence the term of diamonds being a girls best freinds). With women slowly being financially independant the reason for marriage is slowly dying its own natural death.

2. Companionship- With women every thing is a "deal". If you give them something they will give u back something. Same with the companionship factor. We shall see later in this article that a man is driven by very different factors and hence his "companionship" giving factor decreases as age goes by. Earlier , companionship was the only "entertainment" available and hence mariage was necessary. But with technical advances the need for such "entertainment" for men is easily available and hence they tend to draw away from the old hags they ar married to....And since each relationship is a deal women tend to do the "pro quid pro" bring the "companionship" debate to a rther inglorious end.

3. Care- Care is now not a emotional currency. Its a monetary one. Given enough money a stranger will care for you as much as your spouse. We hate to admit it but somewhre professional health care is right now becoming afforadable and that will hereald the death of dependancy on spouse..

Men ...as far as your reasons go..

1. Sex- Yep , admit it. Thats the first thing that went through your mind . Not good enough for marriage. Men are naturally too sexually active to stay with one woman. Its only the promise of regular sex that kind of keeps them leashed. However with sex being readily available , this leash is wearing thin. And whatever a woman might eulogise about "fidelity"..sexual fidelity is like "duh" for a man. As sex becomes readily available marriage wont be something that will be worth it.Plus one can and does get sex from living in..as close you get from marriage.

2. Food- Now thats a point that needs no explaination. Wit more and more women washing their dainty hands off the dishes "ghar ka khaana" is extinct. Look at it from a mans perspective ..if the food is cooked by a servant and sex is easliy available , would it be prudent for a man to stay or even contemplate marriage?

3. Ego Massage- Although its a very slippery point..ego of a man needs pampering. Hoever that doesnt come free in marriage . It comes with a lot of excess baggage which a man can do without. Earlier the man wasnt working so much. But nowadays one does get this ego massage from work place itself..

Religion died with coming of science and so will too this rather redudant practice of hitching together disparate individuals and convincing them that fighting everyday is the "best for society". I think the society wud be a much more peacefull , happy and free place without this forcible and often painfull act.