....

1. Silence
2. Hello..hows the sandwich?
3. Smile
4. Do u think there will be a problem with generation gap?

5. Everything is there in my biodata!
6. Do u do yoga?
7. What are your expectations?
8. are you ok with this?
9. You must be having a lot of girlfreinds.
10. You look adventurous.
11. Kingfisher dress isnt bad !
12. Smirk.
13. Ok , so , hello
14. Smile
15. I can take care of it all
16. Angry look
17. I am not selfish
18. I want to work
19. My name is ....
20. I will have a chicken later in the day
21. Respect my folks.
22. I am a simple human
23. I want to stay in India
24. I love trekking..but havent ever dun it
25. .....
26. I love challenges
27. I am a topper
28. What do u like?
29. Love my parents , cant stay away from them.
30. Want to settle outside India
31......
32. .....
33. I cant speak english properly
34. I dont eat non-veg and am very religious
35. Smile
36. Wat do I call u?

........

The heroic atmosphere!!

I asked myself once as to what actually makes a "hero"? Why does one society throws up so many men of character while some societies seem never to get it right? Why do some societies ..cultures...races ..seem to throw up strong men while others churn out mediocore ones?

Getting caught up in the nurture versus nature debate was getting me into circles so I asked myself the classic socratic question..Define a hero?

What is a hero? Is he a superman or some ordinary man who rises upto the ocasion? Is he born a hero or is he moulded by his environments into becoming one? I guess ..neither.
A hero is defined by his surroundings and his society. And society defines hero by what it actually considers "heroic"! And THAT is the crux because every society defines a hero by its own standards . There are no absolute heroes..absolute heroism is a delusion.

A hero in US will and never be a Hero in India . Infact the same qualities which makes one a hero in one set of society is his weakness in the other.
The other counterintutive point about heroism in a society is the vast chasm between what the society thinks is heroic and what it says is heroic. This chasm isnt a deliberate one..this chasm almost defines a stagnant society from a vibrant one. A society makes its own heroes and heroes in turn make the society ..a fake society raises a fake hero who in turn raises a fake society...

The Delhiwalas

Barbaade gulistan karne ko ek hi ullu kaafi hai..
Har Shaakh pe ullu baithe hain..anjame gulistan kya hoga..

(one owl is the harbringer of destruction of the garden...with one owl sitting on everybranch of the garden..one wonders what will be the state of the garden)


There are a very few guys from Delhi I knew before I joined Navy and I got to know a few after I joined the Navy. To tell the truth I found them extremely vulgar and loud. Infact I wondered why are they so? I mean was it just a coincindence or maybe Delhi has got something to do with it? I almost got an answer when I visited Delhi for the fourth time this winter. It WAS Delhi..no doubt , which accounted for the vulgar nature of its citizens. While I was almost pained to see that the Capital of our country was nothing more than a hilly billy village on steroids ...I started collating the common nature of this crappy city which it passed on to its citizens.

1. Never accept responsibility/defeat/blame- The ground rule of a traffic etiquette in Delhi is this "if u hit a car ...before you get out to survey the damage ..start blaming the other guy" . This centrel philosophy translates into the fact that "watever I did ..its not my fault". Perhaps this is a direct cultural passover from the large political mass that inhabit this space . One can never make a delhi citizen accept that he is wrong. A Delhite is NEVER wrong. So when two Delhites are at loggerheads this presents a problem..becos u see none of them is wrong ,and yet a mistake has been commited. So how does the Delhites go about delegating responsiblity..Simple. The man with least "jugad" loses. The outcome of this topsy turvy logis is that no Delhite ever tries to correct himself..he tries to get more "jugaad".

2. Meddle in everything - A delhite is the self appointed empty vessel of India. He knows about everything and anything he doesnt know about is noyt worth knowing. For example a truck owner is the self appointed messiah of not only his truck but also the unofficial advisor to Transport Minister and arranger of the "best" wedding in delhi. A delhite ..be it even a lowly labourer will take unnecessary interest in your love life and tell you baba ramdsevs latest tantric sex poses..its immaterial to him that you have been giving him dirty looks for the last half an hour. A delhite's way of showing love is trying to poke his nose into your personal affairs ..and then get hurt when you refuse him his this "basic " right.

3. Louder is better- A Delhite believes in "management by decibels". His way of going through life is to shout his enemies into submission. If he is right he shouts and if he is wrong he shouts louder. This works with non-delhites as they just oblige to keep him quiet..but heaven forbid when the opponent is another delhite . The shouting match spinsd out of control till one of them is killed by ilegal firearm.

4. Rules are made to be broken- A delhite sincerely believes that rules are minor inconvineinces that are a hurdle to daily living. So one will find Delhites breaking traffic rules(even when there is no need), dirtying airports , railway stations and roads. Somehow the guards are always missing from their place of duty , somehow no one seems to know any procedure and somehow there is tremendous lack of self discipline. The corollary to this ruke(that rules are made to be broken) is that the bigger jugaad you have the bigger rule you can break.

5. Superb Self delusion - Despite contrary feed back from the entire nation a delhite is sure that the rest of hindustan is just jealous of him because he has the widest roads, best eateries and T3 terminal. He seriously believes that its impossible for someone not to respect his "jugaad" and his connections. No wonder that outside delhi he is a terribly hated and lost character.


Apart from all this the typical delhite is a conglomeration of the worst of the Punjabi,Jat and U.P cultures. He doesnt have any cultural etiquettes or roots. His entire life is spent making life miserable for other Delhites who in turn do the same to him. His car is a mess of dents ..gifts which other delhites have given him(despite the "best roads"), his day is spent quarelling with his fellow Dehlites for every simple thing and his spare time is spent admiring his family pack pot belly and planning of spending(and dirtying) hill stations of India.

The best part is that when a Delhite comes out to the "rest of India" he is beaten ,bruised and slapped into getting out of his "delhi culture" ...A painful process which no doubt troubles him but is somehow quite therauputic to the rest of India . And then he starts missing Delhi ki Ga(a)liyaan ;)

Mountain cycling

When Life gives you a lemon - Make a lemonade.....!!

Mountain Cycling is something I had heard of and in the finest traditions of my life..I decided that it was that time of year when one certainly makes an effort at insanity..! So I embarked on a 10 day /500 kms / 8 hrs a day ..trip on a cycle that costs as much as a scooterate...

What I describe below is somewat an official summary of things that followed...only for the fact that I do not forget it ...

Please bear with the official language ...

Day 1 (5 Jan 11) This day consisted of arrival of all participants. The base camp was at Kaudiyala. Mr Amit Bhatia from Great Northern Himalayas greeted the participants and welcomed them to the expedition. The team was briefed as to the camp rules and etiquettes. Post a simple but nutritious lunch the team enjoyed the serene Ganga beach scenery and had a game of volleyball to refresh themselves. A campfire was held in the evening where a round of informal chit chat bonded the team as a unit before the start of the expedition.

Day 2 (6 Jan 11) This was the first day of m/cycling expedition and consisted of introduction to the specialist CANNONDALE/HERCULES mountain Bikes. The team was introduced to these bikes by Mr Ramesh Rawat. He brought out the specifics of a mountain bike into the fore and pointed out the various subtle differences and qualities of gears and other features with “road bikes”. He emphasized on use of special helmets and apparels while riding terrains so as to minimise risks to self and others . The team used the bikes provided to get a hands on feeling. The team also cycled a 8 km stretch near Kaudiyala base camp to familiarize themselves with the bikes. A few minor hitches and problems were solved en route. Evening consisted of volleyball and campfire.

Day3 (7^th Jan 11) This day consisted of a cycling trek from Laxman Jhulla to Chilla. The team followed Mr Ramesh towards Chilla (approx 40kms) and back. A detour was taken towards Rajaji National Park to acquaint the team with rough mountain tracks. This detour ended with the temple of Vindhyavasiini. Lunch was served at the base of the temple at 1600 hrs. Post lunch the team loaded the cycles onto the truck and returned to base camp.

Day 4 (8^th Jan 11) The start of the main expedition took place on this day. Hands were called at 0630 hrs and post a quick breakfast and kit up the team left by vehichle towards Laxmanjhula. The team members carried packed lunch and two bottles of juice /clean water. A final checks for helmets and clothings were carried out. As we went to the base of the start the team was presented with new AVALANCHE cycles which were brand new. It was exciting for the team but then a few minor hitches were there as they were brand new and had to be fine-tuned.

The first day had a 40 Km tough climb and some few teething problems were expected. Enroute the team reached a village called Bijni where a break was taken as few members were quite exhausted. Nitesh Sharma had developed dehydration symptoms hence the Oic took a decision that he should rest and travel in the support vehicle. The climb was daunting post Bijni however the morale of the team did not let down and continued cycling towards the base camp at DEVIKHAL. However by 1630 hrs light was fading and it was not considered safe to ride post loss of light. A decision was taken to stop at 1630 hrs and pick up by the support vehicle was arranged for others who had yet not reached the base camp. By 1700 hrs the camp was put up at Devikhal and the team had a well deserved rest.

Day 5 (9^th Jan 11) The second day we started towards Vyasghat. At Shilogi the group was interviewed by the local news paper Dainik Jagran they also took group photos.

1115hrs- Ehrausain-dist-29km-we stopped for lunch and interacted with friendly locals.

1400hrs- Gumkhal-dist-40km-this is the place where down slope of 20 km started.

1500hrs- Satpauli-dist-60km-we reached this town quickly as there was totally down hill.

1610hrs- Bilkhet-dist-70km-the ride to this small vilage was comfortable as the terrain was flat and the surrounding was beautiful.

1700hrs Vyasghat-dist-84kms-the entire team reached the campsite near the bank of river Ganga and thus successfully completed the 2^nd day of the expedition.

Day 6^th, (10 Jan 11) Having spent 5 days in the course our bodies were already used to the cold, sudden jerks and the speeding downhill thrills. Today was the 6^th day and we were yearning for more. The routine was as follows.

0700hrs- hands call

0800hrs- hands to breakfast

0900hrs- the team departs from Vyasghat camp. The route began with gradual up and provided a perfect warm-up for the day. Then we faced a real rocky terrain with various landslides enroute and many waterfalls. The team stopped at various scenic places for photography and to take refreshments.

1215hrs- we took a stop at umraos,a small village for tea and lunch. At another 03km of flat terrain we reached Saud, from where we took mettaled road at another 04kms we reached Devpryag.

1300hrs- the team reached till Devprayag where we could see the meeting of rivers Alknanda and Bhagirathi.

1315hrs- the team departed for Kandi. we had a long stretch of uphill cycling with elevation up to 25 degrees and climbed as much as 1000mts for today.

1630 hrs- the team reached Hindolakhal; where today’s expedition stopped due to dim light and dangerous terrain.

1800hrs- after boarding the transport we arrived at Anjanisain, our destination at 1400mtrs, the highest we have encountered till now.

Day 7, (11^th Jan 11) The routine of the day was as follows:

0700 hours - Hands Call

0800 hours - Breakfast

0900 hours - We started from Ajanisain and we crossed the market area around 0930 hours.

1000 hours- we crossed Lamidhar in Tehri Garhwal

1030 hours- we took a little bit of rest and had some snacks and tea. Then we reached Jakridhar.

1115 hours- we reached Chauriyadhar School and took pictures of beautiful school kids.

1235 hours- Tipri Dam was beautiful and we took lots of group photos.

1445 hours - we reached Bhagirathipuram where we had our lunch.

1515 hours - we crossed Koti which is a small town of Tehri Garhwal.

1645 hours - Due to low light expedition was stopped and participants were picked up in the bus. We stayed the night at Hotel Siddharth Residency.

Day 8 (12^th Jan 11) The routine of the day was as follows:

0700 hours - Hands Call

0800 hours - Breakfast

0900 hours - Aniket Kumar, Sea I had to quit due to some unfortunate family problem. However the team started on time

1000 hours - We started our journey from the hotel at Chamba. The roads were mostly tarmac but not exactly flat but a gradual ascent.

1130 hours - We reached Chaurikhal where we filled our empty water bottles to keep ourselves hydrated.

1300 hours - We reached Tangadhar where we saw thin layers of snow. Few riders took lunch in that beautiful place.

1430 hours - This was the time when our team riders were escorted by thick snow clad roads and mountains. Dhanaulti which is very famous for its panoramic views and snow covered mountains. Riding on the snow covered roads were exciting. Few riders met with mild accidents but they were safe and not at all hurt. Slippery snowy roads made us more cautious. But off course keeping the bike on the side of the road and throwing snow balls towards each other was really priceless.

1500 hours - we crossed the famous Eco- Park of Dhanaulti.

1530 hours - We saw the bifurcation of Mussorie and Thatyur and as per our expedition route we took Thatyur route

1615 hours - The curvy downhill of Thatyur started. It was very easy to reach 45 kmph without even pedaling. The sharp hairpin bends made us feel the Adrenalin Rush. While downhilling the temperature and the wind was making us shiver. But somehow everybody reached the hotel safely and stayed overnight.

. Day 9 (13^th Jan 11) The routine of the day was as follows:

0700 hours - Hands Call

0800 hours - Breakfast

0900 hours - Day starts with steep climb. All of us are not so happy because of the climb that we have to cover from the starting of the journey. But with new energy and josh we started our day. As, time passed our speed increased.

1330hours - We reached at Garkhet where we take a short tea break and now the roads were mostly flat and down. Our bikes picked up the speed gradually. But the down hill roads were in a bad condition. They were rocky and in many places rocks fall down on the roads but still we moved safely.

1430 hours - We reached at Yamuna Bridge

1530 hours - Camping at the camp site. The site very close to the hill and Yamuna river. Small children were playing cricket at the camp site which was great.

Day 10 (14^th Jan 11) The next day due to bad weather, landslides and roads the plan was amended by the organizers and cycling was cancelled . We moved towards Chakrata on the support vehicle. We reached Chakrata in the afternoon and stayed at a hotel. At night the team got together and shared experiences about the trip.

Day 11 (15^th Jan 11) Although the team was supposed to cycle from Chakratha towards Dakpathar, due to heavy snowing the plan was cancelled and the team moved by vehicle towards Dehradun where the expedition ended safely.

With our respective bums having strangely converted into kevlar ..;)

If you believe..! Why should I?

If you believe ...Why is blind belief taken as faith which can lead you to uncharted successes? Why is it that somehow you have to discard your logic to "expierance" happiness? Why compromise and then call compromise ,faith? Why not call a bargain for what it is , a bargain only? Why cover every cold transation with a veneer of nicerites and then ..believe ..in them? Why should I believe in something that I cant justify? Why should I base my belief on the whims and fancies of another guy ..? Why should my trust or lack of it be taken as a proof of paronia? Why should I clap for the emperor with no clothes? Why should I be hanged for others delusatory fantasies? Why should I have any reason to think that blind faith is good? Why should things happen the way they have happened? What is exactly the right thing? How do u kno its the right thing? Majority doesnt prove anything..before Coppernicus ,after all it was the majority who "believed" that the earth was stationary. Touche

Buy me some..please!

Buy me a toy train ..

a train that chuggs out on a chocolate station..

A train that gets me to go anywhere I want..

just a toy train..just a toy train..

A toy train, a new cycle..gold ,love..

Buy me buy me buy me..

Wats the price ..who cares..

Buy me..

People are selling ..

and selling cheap..

selling all they care for..

They are selling..cmon buy me some!

Buy me a road ..I dont care..

Just buy me the road...

And I dont want the one with asphalt..

I want the one with the golden pavements...cmon buy me one

And dont tell me u cant buy..

Dont tell me that u cant pay..

I have seen the money on u ..

I have seen the drool of the sellers..cmon buy me!

Dont worry..someday I will pay u back..

I can sell myself..its no problem..

Its ok..no problem

Everything here is for sale..

I really dont mind the price..

Believe me I really dont..

Some one to buy ..some one to sale..

O wat a wonderful world !

Levels of knowledge

In any knowledge scenario there are three levels of knowledge. The first level of knowledge is grassroot level empirical knowledge . This is the set of knowledge which would be something like practical sets of observations.Something like the knowledge of a farmer regarding rains..or a mechanic regarding wheels . This body of knowledge is the biggest conglomeration because as many as there are occupations there are observations.This would mean statements like "iron rusts"..."seeds germinate when placed in water" etc

The second level of knowledge would be science. It would mean the crystalysation of the first level of knowledge into pockets of maths,physics chemistry and biology. This can mean statements like "mass is property of matter","space-time is curved", "in an euclidain space the sum of angles in a triangle are 180 degrees" etc

The third level is that of metaphysical level which again is the crystalisation of the science. This can mean statments like " everything is relative", "the more you seek the more u find"

The worst part of this kind of division is that the third level knowledge is absurdely simplistic. And that makes is posible for a layman to mouth the third level even when he has no knowledge of the first two levels .

And these people make up organised religion charlatans ..gurus and spiritual leaders ! Sad but true

Keep worrying about the night ..

And we miss the sunshine..

Keep worrying about the bouquet ..

And we will miss the wild flowers..

Keep worrying about the fire ..

And we will miss the snow...

Keep worrying about the rains..

And we will miss the clouds...

Keep worrying about the clock..

And we will miss the moment..

Life throws you its packets..

Some heavy and some light..

Some things get better with a lil bit of talk

Some reek of a fight..

There are lots of things to worry about..

And Life does hand a lot on its platter..

Lots of things go bad..

But doesnt a wee little also gets better

The smartass of the world

One very conscending argument that one hears about Indians from Indians is this "but u must admit we are a very intelligent race"..And to cover up the case they will bring out examples of "making lassi using washing machine"..or everyday "smartness" that a normal Indian must get to to go through normal life (starting from smartly calculation of the bus timings to bargaining with the sandwich maker ) . And to end it all they will challenge any foreigner to go through the "complicated" Indian life if they considered themselves so "superior"...

Everytime I hear this argument I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. Laughing because of the sheer hollowness of the argument and crying because of the amount of self delusion my countrymen are so proud of...

I frankly dont consider ourselves to particularly smart because of the following reasons:

1. We have somehow made such a complex set of rules for ourselves(dont eat that , dont touch that, start on this foot , jump on that day, say hi to so and so every half an hour etc etc) that these rules have taken precedence over actual living. I would say that these rules are logically correct and quite great on paper (infact they are the best rules in the world) but translated to ground they have not managed to keep up with advances in knowledge.

Instead of simplifying those rules what Indians have done is to complicate them further with a tacit understanding that if you are rich and powerful then there exists a loophole. So while on one side the ordinary person(read middle class) is always in a moral dilems his richer counterpart does not posess any such quandry.

The logic of actions that flows down is that "rules are subjectively proportional to the lightness of your wallet". This is not a logic thats natural but a logic that has emerged from the clash of complex rules with a desire for fetterless living.

This lack of a smooth and ethic based practicality with that of ideological theory is the greatest reminder of the utter stupidity of Indians.

2. Lack of Basics- As a race forever enamoured with "showbaazi" somewhere there is a severe tendency to forget or just ignore groundlevel reality. The decision makers have always had an enormous capacity to delude themselves and hence never solve grassroot level problems.

So while in ancient times the Brahmin practised high class mathematics , the general public so much never had a basic sence of numbers and measurement. There was a disconnect between ordinary living and the ivory tower.

This is very evident today if you take a closer look at the industrial base of India.

While every economy first stabilises bottom up, ie starting with a self sufficiency in infrastructure and then moving on to luxury..India has always started with satellites first without building enough safety pin industries. To push the analogy further while food processing has grown in spurts , agriculture has yet to see the light of the day.

This disconnect is even seen in daily life . While we have students carrying out advance research into civil engineering, mass housing and roads are shabby , both functionally as well as structurally.

This disconnect is not due to lack of resources but due to a inherent snob value which somehow makes an "academic" a member of higher pantheon of Gods and he is defiled by his foray into solving day to day problems.

With the result that we have mechanical engineers who are scared of opening up a bicyle. If one cant call it stupidity then wat do u call it?

Temptation of an argument

The other day I was having a heated argument with a freind of mine. Very heated ..so much heated that we didnt notice that the poor waiter at the tandoori restaurant was waiting for us to pay our bills for a good 7-9 mins. Both of us got up and walked to my car . The argument was about the essential ressistance of Indians to change..even the good ones and the lack of discipline. My freind took the line that essentially we are nice guys with a bit of rough edge...I took the line that we are basically rough guys with a glimpse of nice ness that sometimes mistakenly oozes out.
The issue of argument were not only this..the argument turned towards the fact that was I patriotic enough? I mean ,my freind thought that with my constant criticism of Indians I was displaying lack of patriotism. I countered with the line that honesty is the best form of patriotism and me being honest about our short comings is more patriotic than covering it all up...

The argument went on for a good two hours and reminded me of a spanish freind Diego who once caught a bunch of us Indians in a german dormitory kitchen at 12 o clock midnight arguing about politics in India. Diego in mock anger shouted from his room " I kno u A@@@$% are from the largest democracy..doesnt mean that u fuckin argue about every fuking Pizza flavor"...and we shouted back.."down with european imperalism"...And next day Diego made it up by feeding us a homemade Tortilla Omellette..And we fucked his happiness by making him a spicy Chicken Curry(he got addicted to chicken curry later and then we had to suffer by having to buy spices for him everytime we went to the Indians Store...


Bottomline is that I cant avoid a good fight...I am trying to . But the temptation is too much ...