Personality Test

Recently , during a session we had a personality test and some team building exercises(the ones corporates generally organise). And there were three tests on personality, The Johari Window, Personality types, and FIRO-B tests. While seemingly innocuous and simple, I was struck by the counterintuitive results of these tests. The things that came out probably were so shocking for people that I remember the gaping mouth of a team member. It was a gape of shock at the tests ..not that they were shocking but they were true(well to a large generic extent) .
I was myself astonished at how true the tests were and how close they were to my personality. 

Delhi snippets

 Delhi was never my favourite city , infact it was one of the worst cities I had ever vistied. Rough weather , Rash people and unfreidly vibes . I had visited Delhi perhaps once during my school times and once en route to an adventure camp. And both expierances had been bad..Perhaps due to the largeness of the city or perhaps due to the oversmartness of people here.

That being said I moved to Delhi in late 2013 from Mumbai , December to be exact . And the incoming wasnt exactly welcoming. Long distances to work, bad traffic, really bad accomodation and a hostile work boss. 

I somehow compromised and pushed on. Of course the weekends were planned on visting monuments , Qutab minar, National Museum, Going for cycling rides with groups like Bikat to Amer fort,Photowalks with walking groups etc. Pradeep from IIT visted and we went on a ride on the gurgaon highway towards jaipur , having snacks at a dhaba, went on a trek to Panwali Kantha with the Bikat group, took a course in contract management at ICAI(Nov 14), Visted Israel in Feb 15,attended RC flying workshops in aug 15,

Went on another trek in Oct 15 and numerous art and craft sessions ...

Transfer came in Aug 16 and I moved to Karwar. Lost almost one lakh worth of camera equipments due to a freinds carelessness. First few monthes were hell . Infact first 8 monthes were hell. But Visited Kenya, Mauritius and Seychelles , took a scuba diving trip in seychelles, Came back , enjoyed Palolim beaches of goa from Karwar.

Second trip to France, visted Grasse the perfume capital. Went to Crete (greece), Visted the Pyramids at Egypt and alexandria in May 2017 followed by Israel (Dead sea, ceasaria, jerusalem), Saudi Arabia and came back and fell ill with Shingles (a viral infection ) and laid up in hospital for two weeks (a very scary yet somewhat calming time, with entire hospital empty). End October Got the news that I am going back to Delhi.Same place.

Was in Delhi in Nov 17

Went for horse riding lessons in Nov 17. Istanbul and Israel i Dec17. Surajkund mela 

Apr 18 an art class taken at defence colony. Visit to israel.

Aug 18, my first art exhibition at SACAC. Short clay lessons at triveni.

Oct 18, Visited Hardwar.

Jul 19, Shimla, Shwet parents.aug 19, hyderabad, mezzotint, prints

Jan 20 , Charans wedding Jodhpur

Feb 20, Israel

Lockdown....

And almost nothing after that till Nov 21 ...And there in another tale

With so much of memories at Delhi, its difficult to forget and not relive Delhi. But somehow the Corona thingy has made it all a distant past. A food you can no longer taste but the taste lingers on.

I am in my last week in Delhi and today is Wednesday, I leave on Friday. My baggage is gone and car is moving on thursday. 

I find myself unable to sleep . Memories , loss, letting go...all come to my mind as I close my eyes. It seems very hopeless now. Somehow I am not able to let go Delhi even though last two years have been nothing good. 

My old boss returned and professionally it has been hell. I dont find myself as active on any scene and somehow I have stopped doing anything. I somehow find myself alone for the first time ....

Hope keeps you alive and maybe thats what is somehow keeping me going..Hope , yes 

Confused

 These last two years have been one of the most blank years of my life. Its as if everything somehow conspired to suck the joy out of my living. I stopped painting, writing, socialising..even studying...almost everything I enjoyed and had enjoyed for so many years. Its as if nothing excited me anymore. I remember the days when I used to go for photowalks, cultural shows, outdoor painting sessions , ceramics pottery, films ..and so many things. I used to have a small etching studio and remember taking long and exciting trips to chandni chowk for copper plates and nitric acid. I used to buy and use wood planks in many projects I used to build. I used to be excited and curious about almost everything. Then as if suddenly everything stopped..without reason just died. It was not corona or lockdown because I used to bake and make lebanese , mediteranean food and even bake during lockdowns ..It was something else and I do not know what it was or is...

I stopped 'doing'. 

Got into a monotonous habit of eating, sleeping , office and repeat. I packed my stuff and let it rot. And it rotted and rotted while nothing mattered to me . Everything kind of became a chore. I was not tired, I was just not interested. 

In novmeber Bapa(my father) gave me a call saying that he is feeling out of breath. For a man who never ever complained about his health, this was shocking. And I rushed to my hometown only to be confronted with the fact that he had leukemia and the doctor although not directly but tacitly indicated that at this age things could be bad. We settled on BTS (blood transfusion) as the way out. Regular transfusions and my worries grew till march 22 when he had a swelling and high fever. At the fag end of my leave, it was panic as we shifted him in an ambulance , my first time in an ambulance. More and more things spiralled from one panic to other as we had to start chemo at the hospital. I was the attendant for almost 10 days at the hospital as I saw my father losing his health and sanity to chemo. Thankfully he was discharged and the chemo continues till date..

I asked for and got a transfer to a town nearby and today is perhaps my last week in Delhi. I leave behind a host of memories, a few special persons and a time which provided me with some wonderful memories. Work wise it had turned hell around 2 years back with a petty and vindictive boss and I had been superannuated...but even then I was happy. Happy spending my time with people I loved and respected. Happy just being near. 

I leave this city next week maybe forever. I dont like this city despite its beauty ..I liked the people I had here . And somewhere there is a foreboding that there is a finality to my leaving. There is some finality to somethings..I dont know what it is but somewhere I feel there is a kind of force pushing me away from this city, this 'life' and this set of memories. Things have kind of happened in auto and I am being pushed by some unknown or maybe I am just imagining things. 

I havent been 'normal' and things dont seem normal. I am really confused at this emotional roller coaster I have been riding, fathers condition, leaving the city, leaving a lifestyle , fear of the new , fear of loss...yes perhaps the fear of loss is the overwhelming feeling. 

Lets say this is not the best of my times....I just hope I see some way out of this..

The Virus

A virus is a small piece of essentially simple molecule with a very small fingerprint that essentially latches on to a productive DNA and uses that DNA to replicate itself . After it has finished replicating, it kills the cell and bursts forth to 'infect' other cells.
The virus molecule itself is essentially harmless and useless and does not do anything productive neither for itself nor for others. Its essential aim is just to replicate by hacking into a productive system by using the system itself. In fact its aim is to just produce more useless molecules and take over and kill any productive ecosystem.
There is no 'why' for this to happen. The virus has no long term plan. It doesn't really care for sustainable reproduction. Its aim is just to multiply as long as it can ...thats its simple aim.

The point is that it is very efficient and even organisms far more capable or efficient fall prey to it. They let it in and it uses the system to destroy itself before moving on to another.It can lie dormant for days and years till it attains a critical mass and then it overwhelms the system.

Since its essentially small and simple , it can mutate to protect itself but essentially the aim remains the same.


This reminds of a smallish desert cult with an very small piece of code written in a rather simplistic rule form. It has no depth , no thought or no logic but is very easy to understand and promises two things..reward for loyalty and punishment for disloyalty.  Just like a virus its code is laughable compared to the sophisticated structures that it attacks. Its easy to dismiss it as a joke.

But its power is its simplicity and how easily it affects the weaker and stupids of the society. It promises a quick fix solution to human problems. It tells the stupid that their stupidity is not their problem but due to an external enemy (which is the legacy system). Its makes almost obligatory to reproduce in large numbers so that there are more stupids who can overwhelm a system. When the stupids reach the critical mass they overwhelm the system and destroy the system. After that they look for more productive systems.

With time this simple social virus mutates but keeps its essential survival code intact. Infect and reproduce.

The virus was formed by a small tribal leader almost by chance and seeing its efficiency it was adopted by a few rulers because it kept the people stupid enough to be ruled by a mafia oligarchy. The virus the destroyed arabic society and moved on to infect mesopotamia and Persia and destroyed the efficient societies till it reached afganistan and India. It faced a bit of resistance near Sind but since the critical mass of general stupidity was low ..it could not find India a great place to infect. However the virus is persistent and it just takes a bit of low immunity to succumb to it.

It has already destroyed lebanon, jordan and syria and is trying to spread to europe where it has gained a foothold in Britain.

Societies have to mutate to survive this virus. Just like an aggresive coctail of chemicals and internal immunity is an answer to a virus, societies have to reduce the number of stupids and increase general intelligence(not formal education) to effectively fight this menace. Any form of weakness or negotiation wont work.

Asking questions like 'but why does it do wat it does", 'there must be something good in all of it' etc are irrelevant because as the Joker says 'Some guys just want to see the world burn' 

Efficiency

Every structure be it organisation , process or material can be objectively judged by only one criteria " efficiency" . First of all does it do what it's supposed to do with minimum use of resources. For eg take "crying" .. Crying is very different process at different times. Sometimes it's to express sorrow , sometimes to relive stress , sometimes for show. It should be efficient in all it's processes otherwise there is no requirement for that process. The same goes for culture and traditions. They are supposed to make subsidiary social processes efficient towards building a more efficient society and man.

The most critical part of building an efficient system is honest and brutal feedback. There can't be anything but a brutal feedback towards cutting all crap and making processes efficient. The failure to incorporate feedback is the hubris of any process.


And repetitive feedback generally leads to the simplest and most efficient structure / process.


Hence an efficient society seeks simplicity ... A sick society seeks complexity. 

Crossing the line...

Crossing the line is subtle. There is no thunderous sound of something breaking or a clap of lightning that announces the crossing of line. Its almost like a magical drift of slow but sure red shift of a black hole approaching astronut. The information just stops and the irony is that the astronomer who slides towards the event horizon barely notices that he has crossed it.
The other individual however observes a slow erosion of information and a fading into darkness. Ominously saddening yet inevitable. The warnings are always there. Loud and gravity defying. We just chose not to hear it. Its just sad that these things happen this way. Sometimes you wish there was a better way..But I guess if there was a better wasy there would be.

Those who venture into that realm of fact and fantasy should realise that if gravity can bring masses together..Its the same gravity that can tear you apart. Slowly but surely. Painful yet truthfully.

How close it is to human emotions as people bound by emotions are torn apart by it. The same confidance that nurtures it is the same force that tears it apart. Is it blindness to ignore the approach of the edge of that black hole where gentle gravity turns to destructive tidal gravity? Or is is the sense of security that lulls one's sense of gratitude because of the pervasive nature of love and respect? Is is that the slowness of time affects thoughts and somehow your descent is invisible to everyone except you?

Whatever it is ..One adage remains. Once the line is crossed ..you lose that universe..Forever. ;)

There is a line ..

Here it is

________________________________________________________________________

The lens of life

I wrote this piece of shit when I was a bit drunk :


'Even if the entire world is shit..or so it looks like, remember one thing. The lens through which we perceive, feel and conceptualise 'the' world is built by us. The clearer we are in making that 'glass' , the 'purer' we are ..the world will appear so. Some say that the only way to live is to be 'brave'..I differ. The only way to live is to be 'scared'...Scared that this is your last day on earth. 'Scared' that maybe tomorrow I wont be able to smell the flowers, see the colors or touch the sky. The only thing that is truly your own worth building is information..ie memories. Don't take photos..take experiences. Its one imprint that's truly your own. Love! thats the only thing worth feeling...if you haven't experienced it ..you are either an idiot or an asshole. Imperfect,stupid and sometimes deceitful..Love,whatever it is its worth a try. Majority doesn't make anything right..you know that. Morality doesn't come from religion..it comes from common sense. Believe in only two things death and taxes(Oscar..oscar ..oscar). Nothing 'guarantees' happiness..except your acceptance (ref Chap 18 , The Bhagvat Gita). Dont be procedure oriented..be result oriented. The only result that should bother you is 'happiness'. And never make anything emotional with 'agendas'. Its counterproductive always. Some rules just cant be broken(AKA conservation of Mass-energy and the psycho-neurotics of women). Accept and move on . Thought processes define you. If you don't have one ..borrow and make do. If you are mentally incapable of lovemaking..dont try physically. Not worth it.  . No one is indispensable..not even you. You aren't that important. There is a thin line between vanity and pride ..or between confidence and shamelessness. Its thin but its pretty distinct . Dont cross it. . And yeah.. Try giving a bit less Gyan..its pretty fucking irritating ..esp to the idiots '

And maybe verbal dysentery doesn't just go away ...call it the hangover of dysentery...

Come to think of it.. Life sometimes is SHIT. But the best part of it is that I think life gives you hints...subtle but nevertheless hints. Expectations and hints about expectations. It hints that sometimes you are not as important in someone's life as you think yourself to be

(As Twain Bhai said once .Never allow someone to be your priority while you're just their option)..

It could be your lover,freind, Dog(Ok,not Dog.. Dogs dont do that..) or relatives.. The fact that you are thinking about it should ring alarm bells..Loud..Very Loud. Nothing is more sad than sticking to people who don't care about you. You are better off alone. No doubt that the thought hurts but so does dishonesty in something as hardcore as emotions. You cant make a dishonest relation work. However competent you are. Walk away! Easier said than done..but please walk away and search better skies(if not better ..maybe emptier skies). Dont ever try to 'make it work'. If you are trying to make it work it is an effort..and efforts are taken for building buildings or roads..not building relationships. Happy relationships are effortless.You cant keep a fundamentally repulsive building  from falling apart using cello tapes...You will run out of tapes soon and it will still fall apart. Yes you can use good cement to put it back..but then if you had good cement why didnt you put it initially ??Most likely ..you built it like a cement building only later to find out that instead of cement the mason used clay..and NOW how intelligent of you to use cello tapes ;)

Its quite possible that there is honesty on both sides and its just that priorities are different. Whatever it is ..if you both are mature persons..Don't ever realign them. Just walk away(Preferably with head held high. That way both of you are sad for a moment but you have opened up possibilities for future to be happy. And walking away mentally is the first step towards the same. Perhaps thats the easiest part which eventually is the beginning of the end. And everything ends ..like life. 
It doesnt matter who cries for u after you are dead..or if they build monuments for u. U are fucking dead ..how does it matter? Invest more time into thinking how to avoid dying before death. Invest more time into yourself and stop feeling sorry or sad for others. They have been going on till now without you and most likely they will.You cant be that important. 
And don't play games. Its stupid. In the end its a zero sum sports ..even if you win(if you dont believe me..ask those guys who have won ;)) . What you win is a 'prize' ..a 'deal' ..And deals are not relationships. Deals are bargains. And if you consider ..bargains are like momentary gratifiers. Their joy doesn't last long..and perhaps till the time you are boasting about it to your peers. But you really cant boast to the man in the mirror. Try doing it. You have to be a real delusional asshole to fool that man ..or u are a Delhite(ouch)!!

You lose value to gain in price. And then live with that low value. Dont disrespect yourself so much. Live with self dignity and death will be a fulfilling one. But I guess..one has to ..in the end ..think his/her own philosophy. And I have realised that some people inherently want shit in their lives and subconsciously are happy with the negativity.

Its no use selling emotional honesty to assholes...Assholes are best left alone. And thats the brazen truth. Its like selling High quality Caviar to a villager from Mainpuri..(most likely not only his food tastes differ ...it will be his definition itself of quality and 'high' will be different) . So dont waste your time....  
You really cant explain the benefit of an honest attempt to persons whose entire life is spent 'bargaining' for deals..
The best u can do is politely detach and continue with your pursuit of 'hapyness' and let him/her do their own things. There is no right or wrong...he/she is as much sincerely pursuing 'hapyness' as you are ..and who knows ..
Perhaps he/she/ it is right...
But just let it be...!..Its ok!! Be happy :)

Do we deserve Modi ?

I started writing this piece when the elections were in full swing. Now I am that kind of asshole who will watch up Elections 2014 all night and give the Football Premier league a major miss. And I dont know why I stopped in between..maybe my thoughts were a bit flustered to be coherent..

Modi as a phenomenon burst forth in these last elections and every journalist worth his NaCl was analysing the pros and cons of this man. Some were regurgitating the 'modisms' while some assholic Red Party members were comparing his rallies to Nuremberg Nazi propaganda. Fear mongering at the rise of 'right wing' extremism and 'crony capitalism' reached a frenzy in the media while the elections were in full swing...

We Indians are weird lot..our best discussions happen over the overtly sweet roadside stall tea. The irish have their pubs ,americans their bars and we have our chai party. As we stood discussing weather Modi deserved to rule India or he was just a demon in disguise hungering for power ..I let in a small idea. I thought that the question was not if Modi deserved India ..the question was whether India deserved Modi. ..?
Why?
Because of late when I hear debates ..I pay close attention to the conduct of debates. The worst participant I have ever come across over TV is the so called 'hoi polloi' the common man.
This mob bastard has suddenly come of age. Now he knows that it is his time so he pulls in a long breath and berates every man in his way. This guy isn't good enough for me..I want this ..I want that ..this govt is this that etc.

To get a coherent argument out of this bastard's 'common man' is a herculean task even for the most obnoxious delhi trained anchors.
Now my question is this! Does this 'common man' who spits on the road, breaks traffic rules, cheats on his taxes..fondles butts on public transport ..deserve an honest and hardworking leader? Does he have the right to even ask for justice and fairness when his own life is a picture of being bullied or bullying ? Does he have the slightest right to deserve a guy like Modi who has had a tough and fighting life and has made it despite odds?
But then I digress..What makes Modi such a powerful factor?

1. This guy is detached. If you ever hear Modi speak ,it conveys the air of a man who although is committed to his ideals is detached almost with a monk like attitude. His personal belongings are few and he doesnt flaunt it nor hides it. He gives the air of 'nothing effects me '..and seriously this guy has seen a lot of shit..! If he has survived and shone , he is my hero!

2.  Business first. Modi is a god's gift to people who make things happen.
He isnt an anarchist but he knows the loophole that prevents a well meaning Indian from giving his best. He appeals to those who want to 'get the work done'. Point is that people who produce aernt loud people. The prefer to work hard and are concerned with their profession..honestly. These guys would not like loud rhetoric. Modi is not rhetoric..he is work personified.

3. He is an expert at keeping assholes at arms length. Modi has been efficient. He might not have been sweet ,cuddly or cute..but he is efficient. He has a great ability to put loudmouths in place by his actions and words. Which means he forms the much needed wall between those who are shouting on streets about big words like Democracy,secularism etc...and those who are working. That wall is needed because those who are working are incapable of dealing with violent rhetoric.

4. He is no flash in pan.In fact he is a piece of smouldering coal which has kept burning despite all cold water from various quarters. And that is no mean feat.

5. He isnt modest. He is the perfect amalgamation of a good product backed by solid advertising.

6. He is intelligent enough to remain a bachelor ;)

Now we need to ask ourselves..Do we seriously deserve this man?

The happy porridge!

Someday I think I will write as honestly as I want to. Why someday because somewhere I believe that the meaning and semantics of 'honesty' have got blurred by a strange porridge floating around...

Its now become difficult to pick out the truth from lies. Strangest thing being that sometimes the lier himself/herself has forgotten that he/she is lying. There is no fog of confusion ..its just that there is a group pleasure in keeping eyes closed. Its a juggernut that's surely and slowly moving towards sure braindead scenario.The only sure determination being 'moving around'. 

Not only that, it has somehow discovered the numbing pleasure of being brain dead. A slow juggernaut of porridge pushing its way through caviar and uber food..converting everything into ..well ..porridge. Nameless,faceless,tasteless ..happy porridge. Yeah...that is important. The 'happy' factor. Happy in its namelessness, classlessness, and socialnesses. All the 'nesses' except for the discerness ...

Perhaps someday I will be successfull in tearing down the wall of stupidity and shame and write as honestly as I can without inhibitions. There is nothing that prevents me from doing it..perhaps lack of wisdom..patience :(

Whatever it is ..reach it before the 'Happy Porridge' eats me ;)

Solitude ki maa ki aankh - hampta pass trek

 I prefer solitary treks. I prefer walking alone. That being said I prefer company of likeminded people who do understand that. The hampta-pass trek kind of underlines the fact that no matter how weird you are..there are likeminded weirdos. Starting on a tuesday afternoon where I had to run from office (changing from formals to trek pants and seeing the look on the secretary's face was well an enlightening expierance). That and the worn out backpack in place of the breifcase and trek boots in place of the shiny formals to complete the look...Maannnnn I am expecting some puzzled looks back at office on this tuesday! Metro ride to Civil lines and rendezvous at the corny sounding 'Majnu ka tila'(fucckkk..who keeps a name like that??). Majnu was a legend and here was a 'tila' named after him. Woww!! Its like naming a drain after Ghalib..Ghalib ka naala!! So much for naming hot spots. Pankazzz was waiting along with Gear-ish and a host of eager faces. We board the volvo to Kulu-Manali and I plug in my ipod(ok ok..its a sony walkman). Girish sits next to me and frankly I apprehensively ask him..so many girls? on a trek? I wonder why did you bring them along. Girls are frankly a pain on treks . They talk. And they have the weird habit of spoiling the silence of the moutains. I would have preferred a smaller group and preferably of expieranced guys who know when to shut up and listen to mountains...But such is life and Girish sheepishly assured me that it was a nice group and we will get along all fine. Yeah..I hope ! :( First accident of the night...! Darpan introduces himself and we get to talking about Delhi-Mumbai. Poor guy like me is a mumbai lover and is obviously isnt exactly in love with the 'city of djinns' . Our frustrations take on mind boggling dialectics as poor Girish and the 'delhi gang' cant fathom why are we so angry at Delhi. Although I have made a mental note to start 'liking delhi' ..I guess somethings just dont change. So we argue till we are tired and then like all democratically inclined Indians,go to sleep.


Second accident of the night... It starts raining . And its a selective rain on our Japanese import..Yachna. Clearely it was a Indo-Japanese conspiracy to trouble poor Yachna. On a more prosaic note , the AC ducts were leaking and Yachna madam just happened to be at the wrong place. Like every red blooded Delhi gal..Yachna gave a mouthfull to the driver and then explained to all of clearely and patiently that 'she isnt angry ..she is just setting things right'. We realise that its better to keep quiet and nod our heads rather than getting another sermon in Japanese(or in Punju).I tuck in my head and let the storm pass... Third accident of the night...We stop at a dhaba for dinner. Time for Priyanka madam to give a commentry on the hygiene and food of the michellin star dhaaba. She orders for a 'pheeki' chai. The Dhaaba has never heard of such abominative invention and instead hand her a cuppa of tea which was actually a substitute for kheer/rabdi. Priyanka blows her top. Doesnt have the desired effect on the waiter. So she resigns herself to her faith and sips it in mumbling to herself. Dinner over we huddle into the bus..and ride on. Its a beautiful morning when we wake up for tea at a small restaurant.


          Normal mornings at mountains and its a normal start. Only thing that was funny was the faces of all the team members when they had just woken up. I find it funny that when a man wakes up its not abnormally an event but when women wake up in the morning they all look like they have just come through a storm. Its scary. But I keep my misogynist thoughts to myself.I have realised that freedom of expression aside...these are ideas that can get you killed in this day and age..and I love myself. We stop at Kullu to buy raincoats for some of the guys who had forgotten to buy it. Some guys take this opportunity to stuff themselves with burgers, chowmein and other 'modern food stuff' as they fear that this is their last 'civilised meal' befor the trek. We move into the trekker /sumo and move towards the starting point. The starting point is inside that of a reserve forest so we take permits. Then we get down at the ground zero to have some lunch and start. Tragedy strikes. My green waterbottle is missing. Now, for those who came in late..I love my green water bottle and I feel alone without it on the trek. I slip into severe depression. Wild grey clouds hover till Girish waves me bottle he had found in the bus. I am happy again.


       We start the trek. Dennis and Priyanka are clearely well kitted up with thier swanky walking sticks while some of the newbies are in their stylish Puma gear. Of course some of the more well heeled had bought sun-hats and glares more suited to a day at the race course track than the trek. And it was a sight to see this motely group tentatively begin their walk. Shagun is clearely enjoying the trek and her running commentry and josh is kind of pumping up the group while Pranit and Rakesh are at a loss to understand exactly what is she so excited about. We come across interesting stuff like sheep getting sheared and a lot of amazing streams and rivulets. More interesting were some denizens of nature who were rather mundane when walking on dry land but developed amazing histrionics when it came to crossing small water puddles. Entertainment..pure entertainment. Speaking of entertainment...Salman's soul entered a teammate on the way and suddenly we had to oblige with shirtless hairy armpits related photo events...! Again ...entertainment..entertainment..entertainment.


           Led by Panna our guide we reached 'Balu ka dera' and Darpan/Shagun start a rather philosphical discussion on the correct name ..'Baalu' or 'Bhalu'. Girish is brought out to solve the dead lock but it seems the cause is lost on him as he somehow logicalises that its 'Baalu' because clearely there are no 'Bhalus' in sight. Well we didnt get the 'Bhaalu' side of the story but we are too tired to care. Night falls and we are around the first and only campfire of the trek(no woods after that). A few of the first timers were a bit tired and of course a bit of fever from fatigue ..but they took in an early dinner and retired. Some of the night birds stayed up to chat away the night.That night we discovered the hidden gem of the group..Nishanth. Nishanth was a devotee and a true devotee. If Mahadev had an opening for that post of fav devotee, Nishanth would have made it by a long margin. We feel blessed in his company. Darpan and self get our 'respect-o-meter' out and recalibrate it to match Nishanth's talent. Speaking of talent ... Well..sometime else!! People get hostile !! A small acclimitsation trek to get ourselves fitted up and we are chomping our way through our mess tins..and off to slumberland. Next day morning starts with a challenge ..Finding the right stones. (those who found them will understand). This day trek is a bit tough and we cross two glaciers.


First timers did face some challenges but overcame them beautifully. Especially Yachna and Zeta who surprised us with their amazing 'can-do spirit'. We reach the Hampta Pass in afternoon and face the most anti-climactic moment of the trek. Now Hampta Pass is clearely not the edge of the world but its innocousness is almost self effacing. There are no signboards(aka Rohtang/Khardungla) and its a pass thats almost ashamed of itself. Rakesh lights a agarbatti..as is the custom and others eat away (as is the custom). Some photo sessions later the group bunches and then marches to Chatru. Its one of the most boring downhill treks ever. But it gives me ample time to draw/write and dance(I sometimes do that when I am alone and there is no one around)..its a beautiful feeling to sing out aloud in the wilderness..and I imagine myself to be Elvis/Rafi and Roger walters all rolled into one. Fortunately no one is there is to take note of my hidden talents ;)


      We camp at Chatru and lets say we had a good time. Period. Next day we catch the bus to Chandrataal. Hero of the day is my FOLDER 10 of music player which alternatively irritates and entertains the team mates on their way. Chamdrataal is the smaller brother(or sister) of Pangong Tsao Lake but is more beautiful because 'Delhiwllas' seems to have missed it on their marauding ways. Amazing colours and space. I wanted to be there for atleast a day. But time was short and we utilised it for a Kingfisher Male model shoot. The pictures were a hit but after sometime the moral police and cold butted in and we had wrap it up and returned to the camp. That night was the best night of the trek. Yes it was. Thanks to Shagun,Nishant, Darpan, Girish and Wakil..and well..the 'OH' group. I guess I wont forget the night for a long time. Next day we tied up and rode the way back to civilisation. My takeaway: Solitude ki maa ki aankh. Enjoy !