Holi-dry-day

Holi has memories for everyone...

But I remember a particular incident that happened eons ago ...the thing that makes this incident stand out is the "out of box" solution that one my freinds thought of...

Holi in our locality was a semi community affair..Which meant that everyone had the free license to do whatever he/she wanted. Like all localities ..this was a free for all and lurking romances and unrequited advances had a ball..

I had a bum chum pal, Toni Arora, naturalised Oriya Punju(yeah that specis exists). And we were the anti-holi brigade . It was a party that owes its existance to destruction of our carefully kept comics at the hand of a "holi-vandal"(basically ..our Phantom Comics were covered with unmentionable colors thanks to indiscriminate "color-Playing"..but that story some other time)..

Now since we were the only two members and had failed to solicit any other citizens ...We had to take the ocassion of holi as a kind of propaganda(kind of Valentine day syndrome for Shiv sena)..So we decided that we wud stay "dry" come wat may ..It was a matter of principle after all.

But that presented us a problem. If we stayed at home ..our well meaning parents would force us to join the "celebrations" ...and moving around was rift with danger (baloons ...sprays..and the similar missiles). After discussions at a very high level(on the third floor terrace ..that was high enuf)..we decided that moving around was a better option(We knew that parents are a stubborn lot and taking a panga with them meant serious implications like "no mahabharat" for some weeks and that was unthinkable).

But how do we move around ? Cycling gave us speed but the area of attack of a spray was large and how could we escape inadvertant advances..

This is where Toni proved that he was a genius. His solution was simple,elegant and effective...

Raincoats.

How could I have missed that ? My admiration for Toni touched the Mount Everest. Freind, I am blessed to have such a genius as a freind.

But was it effective?

Yes It was ...Infact we both moved around in Raincoats (he had an yellow one and I had a dirty green) the entire day and managed to stay dry. Of course ,ignorant idiots were laughing on both of us for the entire day..but what the heck. Some where a man has to take a stand.

I have lost touch with Toni but If I meet him today,one of the first questions I am going to ask him .."Did u try this idea anytime later ?"

;)

The worlds second biggest hoax- Marriage

After religion mariage must be the hoax that everyone wants to believe. Each day I am convinced that marriage is a lose lose game . And I do not say it with the victory smile of a bachelor but with the wisdom of seeing closely as to how marriages are working out nowadays. People are so concerned about "working out" the marriage that they forget that marriage was designed for pleasure . If you are working at making something "just work" then whats the difference between your job and marriage..now now..please do not give me that sagely smile. I have just realised that married guys know as much about marriage as a bachelor..!

I have come to this belief that somehow the institution of marriage has run out of steam and logic. There is no need for marriage and the time has come for such a losing proposition to die its own natural death.

What I feel that like religion we shall soon run out of people "who believe in marriages" and then the world will be a happier place. Because of this unreasonable belief we have fights and ugly scenes. I would suggest that there are a few ways by which marriage itself should become redundant..And thats by providing the few factors which are the plus points for marrying. These are factors which are right now speeding up the death of marriage and rightly so..

Since men and women have different goals from marriage lets start by separating those . Ladies first ..So here we go!

1. Financial Security- More than companionship women marry so that they can die a decent death. By decent I mean the fact that it shouldnt be an insulting one. Penury is every womans worst nightmare (hence the term of diamonds being a girls best freinds). With women slowly being financially independant the reason for marriage is slowly dying its own natural death.

2. Companionship- With women every thing is a "deal". If you give them something they will give u back something. Same with the companionship factor. We shall see later in this article that a man is driven by very different factors and hence his "companionship" giving factor decreases as age goes by. Earlier , companionship was the only "entertainment" available and hence mariage was necessary. But with technical advances the need for such "entertainment" for men is easily available and hence they tend to draw away from the old hags they ar married to....And since each relationship is a deal women tend to do the "pro quid pro" bring the "companionship" debate to a rther inglorious end.

3. Care- Care is now not a emotional currency. Its a monetary one. Given enough money a stranger will care for you as much as your spouse. We hate to admit it but somewhre professional health care is right now becoming afforadable and that will hereald the death of dependancy on spouse..

Men ...as far as your reasons go..

1. Sex- Yep , admit it. Thats the first thing that went through your mind . Not good enough for marriage. Men are naturally too sexually active to stay with one woman. Its only the promise of regular sex that kind of keeps them leashed. However with sex being readily available , this leash is wearing thin. And whatever a woman might eulogise about "fidelity"..sexual fidelity is like "duh" for a man. As sex becomes readily available marriage wont be something that will be worth it.Plus one can and does get sex from living in..as close you get from marriage.

2. Food- Now thats a point that needs no explaination. Wit more and more women washing their dainty hands off the dishes "ghar ka khaana" is extinct. Look at it from a mans perspective ..if the food is cooked by a servant and sex is easliy available , would it be prudent for a man to stay or even contemplate marriage?

3. Ego Massage- Although its a very slippery point..ego of a man needs pampering. Hoever that doesnt come free in marriage . It comes with a lot of excess baggage which a man can do without. Earlier the man wasnt working so much. But nowadays one does get this ego massage from work place itself..

Religion died with coming of science and so will too this rather redudant practice of hitching together disparate individuals and convincing them that fighting everyday is the "best for society". I think the society wud be a much more peacefull , happy and free place without this forcible and often painfull act.

Na ye Zameen thi..The arroagance of it!

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha
na chaand taaron ka hi
nishaan tha
magar ye sach hai ke
un dino bhi
tera mera pyaar
yoon hi jawaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha
na chaand taaron ka hi
nishaan tha
magar ye sach hai ke
un dino bhi
tera mera pyaar
yoon hi jawaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha

chale kahaan se
kahaan pe aaye
khumaar ban ke
jahaan pe chhaaye

chale kahaan se
kahaan pe aaye
khumaar ban ke
jahaan pe chhaaye

nibhaayi rasm e wafa kuchh aise
muhabbaton ke chaman khilaaye
na kaise aasaan hoti manzil
har ek armaan naujawaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha
na chaand taaron ka hi
nishaan tha
magar ye sach hai ke
un dino bhi
tera mera pyaar
yoon hi jawaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha

hum hi ne taaron ko roshni di
hum hi ne phoolon ko taazgi di
hum hi ne taaron ko roshni di
hum hi ne phoolon ko taazgi di

jidhar se guzre jahaan bhi thehre
har ek zarre ko zindagi di
kuchh is mein dil ki tadap thi shaamil
khuda bhi kuchh hum pe meharbaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha
na chaand taaron ka hi
nishaan tha
magar ye sach hai ke
un dino bhi
tera mera pyaar
yoon hi jawaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha

nazar mein phoolon bhari hain raahen
khushi se rangeen hain nigaahen
nazar mein phoolon bhari hain raahen
khushi se rangeen hain nigaahen

suno to kuchh keh rahi hai hum se
bahaar phaila ke apni baahen
idhar se guzroge ek din tum
naseeb aisa mera kahaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha
na chaand taaron ka hi
nishaan tha
magar ye sach hai ke
un dino bhi
tera mera pyaar
yoon hi jawaan tha

na ye zameen thi
na aasmaan tha

aa..aa..
ho..ho..

It is a romantic number from the film Sagaai which was released in the year 1966. Direction of the film was done by S D Narang. This love song is in the voice of Mohammad Rafi and is written by Rajinder Krishan.

This song is something that has struck me as one of the most romantic lyrics I ever had a chance to hear. Especially the line ..

"Humine taaron ko roshini di, humine phoolon ko taazgi di.."

Look at the sheer audacity of love in these two line . The unabashadness and pomp striking through..Isnt it beautiful .? the Pride of love in those two lines underlines the soul of the song..

The love that it proclaims is not really on its knees ..Its not a love of surrender..Its not a whimpering love.

Its a love that stands proudly almost arrogantly on its own ...on the face of any kind of storm and either breaks down or attains glory...

Nice

Memory of my melancholic Whores..

Now that I have got your attention..Let me elaborate that title a bit. Thats a book by Nobel Laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
The title is a giveaway..Its actually about "Melancholic Whores". But the catch here is that the patron is a 90 year old man.

He wants a virgin as a gift for himself on his ninetieth b'day. Somehow his pimp manages a 14 year old virgin. And he so falls in love with her sleeping figure that he never gets to wake her up or make love to her...

What is amazing about reading the novel that such a crass tale of lechery is uplifting and beautiful when described in all honesty. The delicacy of the moments and the underlaying tragedy of the situation is something that cannot be done by an ordinary writer. Its only marquez who can transform a cheap porn subject into that of high art..

I guess thats wat differentiates authors. Try reading it some times without any reservations and you will realise what it means to taste world literature..

The joy of a constant pressure pump...

I have the mind set of an electrical engineer and I am stuck in that thinking framework thats typically electrical.
I had no idea of how dogmatic my thinking is till today.

What opened my eyes to that was a constant pressure pump.

The pump was on the shop floor .It was not developing pressure ie around 90 kg....! it was buiding up till 45 kgs and then that was it...no increase.
The technicians were on it..and I walked up to it and saw it all opened up. The plate controlling the pressure is called a swash plate..the plate is basically supposed to vary the area of inlet and outlet pressure.
The crux is the fact that there is supposed to be a feedback that "tells" the swash plate to adjusts itself. And I have this idea that a feedback mechanism is supposed to be an electronic ressistor/ capacitor/inductor that is compared to a set value. The difference is proportional to the "actual" and "designed" difference. Simple.

Not so.

I kept on asking the technicians "where is the feedback mech?"..but all I got was "sir, THIS is the feedback!"..I got so frustrated that I was ready to break my head. Then one of the guys took out the piston attached to the swash plate.

My jaws fell off.

It was a beauty. The "swash" plate was in actuality a piston whose angle could be varried by a set of six piston rods. The head of the piston has a groove which matches the piston inlet outlet. Very finely machined and oil tight.
Metal to metal oil tightness is not quite easy to obtain and this was a marvel.
I stared at it for almost 3 minutes ..feeling its shape and admiring the finely cut groove .

I regretted for the first time that I was not a mechanical engineer. I missed out the joy of touching and "seeing" the marvels that I could have dealt with in that field. Electrical engineering is nice but its "invisible" . Sometimes I miss that visualness of engineering.

The "visualness" of the pump feedback was a nice change from the invisible op amps that my dogmatic mind had envisaged...

Love you, swash plate ;)

PS:The pic on top is only to illustrate the design ..its not as great as the swashplate I saw today