Who Am I to judge?

Good bad and not so bad...
rag tag and not so rag tag...
A tear here and a mend there..
All patched up here and there...

You , me , all of us..
Some dead..some dying and some living dead
Some blood , some flesh and rotting pus..
A dullard , numbskull and the bright head

Who is right , who is wrong?
Who gives a roar over a song?
Who draws the final line..
Who ties the last twine..

Logic and reason
...have but one season
Passing bye and waving bye
One standing while the chain lies

Trust and fame ..
All the same ...
Betrayal and ignonmity ..same same
Wild and tame..

All flavours ..
All tastefull and rage
Some like chocolate some like fudge..
Any way who am I to judge?

Exchanging Lives..Averaging out

I used to watch an ad that kind of starts with a kid wanting to have a bike..the bike guy wanting to have a car..the car guy wanting to have a girl..the man with a girl wanting to get richer..and the circle completes with the rich guy wanting to have flowing hair like the kid .

Quite a nice ad .

Infact this ad is the perfect starting piece of this post.

The issue I want to talk about is about the fact that how we always get to thinking "I wish I was as lucky as the other bastard". Even I used to have these thoughts especially in school.
We never had had a palatial house. It was just a simple 2 BHK house..basic.
And whenever I used to visit my freinds I used to look at their "separate" rooms ..decorated with pop icons ..I used to envy that kind of "rich". I still remember seeing a cycle in someones own separate room and thinking .."wow..thats so american"....! I remember the happiness of hearing the "spirit of rangeela" on a Philips "Micro monster"(I think that was a midi music system ...but compared to the miserable 2 in one we had at home ..it was nothing short of a bose). I remember idolising that crumpled jeans look with those "expensive" sneakers ...It was the height of fashion.
But somewhere after my 12th ..and especially after passing out of NEC my thoughts changed. And that change made me look at things in what I think is a better perspective.
My thought was this..

If I envy someones life..I have to import his entire life. Not a piecemeal barter. For example if I liked someones bike..I have to import not only his bike but his entire life..and THEN ask if its worth the barter.
So I tried thinking on those lines . Next time I looked at some ones expensive car ..then asked for the barter ..I realised that the overall package I had was the best one could ever have.Somehow that thought made me feel at peace.

The moot point is that everyones life in a way averages out. If you have a great house..maybe your wife is crazy..If your wife is great,maybe its your son who is trying to murder you...etc etc.
You will not have everything..thats the bad news. Everyone is in the same shit as you are..thats the good news..

Enjoy while it lasts..life is too short!
;)

The reason for divorce

I have been thinking about a lot of issues that I wanted to write in my blog ..but kept on postponing it. Today is a holiday and I must tackle a very sensitive issue..!

One of my very close freinds is going through a divorce. Infact he came to know that his wife has served a notice for divorce around three days back ..and today he is flying to his in laws town to get his representation in court there.

Kind of funny when you ask me because precisely three days back he was talking to his wife about patching up . Infact he was speaking of his wife as an innocent soul who had been waylaid by her mother(herself separated from her husband). He was justifying the fact that maybe his wife was a simpleton and he had been making too many demands on her ..so maybe thats the reason she wants to stay away from him for sometime..etc etc.

My heart breaks for this guy because I have seen two other people go through the same phase in my life ...again very very close classmates. A phase where there is severe denial that there is fundamentally something wrong in the marriage. A phase where either refuses to accept the inevitibility of the fall. A phase where a fracture is read as a minor crack.

That makes me think what went wrong here? Why a divorce? Why do they happen?

Now I can cite atleast a hundred COSMO issues that give "communication failure" etc as the "cause" ...but I think its a fallacy. Its like trying to say that you have fever because you have temperature. No, fever might have a cause like infection and an effect like temperature but temperature is the resultant of the cause and not vice versa.

Similarly Lack of Communication is not the cause of divorce , its only a symptom which pre empts a divorce. So what is the exact cause ?

I feel that the seeds of divorce are sown along with marriage ,like a twin tree. As you move forward in marriage you start slowly nurturing the marriage tree and undernourishing the divorce sapling....till the divorce sapling withers .

Now if you have a strong divorce sapling..any amount of undernourishment will not be able to kill it.

Now what makes a divorce seed /sapling stronger ? Its a simple word " compromise".

Before you start pulverising me ..let me explain.

A marriage involves lots of compromise ...but marriage itself should not be a compromise. There is a difference.

A lot of marriages are compromises for money, libido or ego. Since they start as compromises the entire exercise slowly drains out the partners and the divorce sapling grows stronger at the cost of marriage sapling.

A marriage which is uncompromising depends upon the fundamental liking for each other(mind you..I am not talking of love here..its a mutual liking). Rest everything comes later..even compromises. Compromises after marriage in such a marriage is generally willing and is done because fundamentally both partners feel that its worth them liking their partner.

Food habits, clothing , culture and ethos are things that people compromise upon but they never compromise on the idea of marriage itself.

That is the fundamental difference between "compromised marriage" and "compromises after marriage",the first most likely leading to a divorce (or at most a very unhappy marriage) and the second leading to a stable one...

Nice orbit

Ever since I joined the Dockyard in Vizag..Life has been a spin. The pace is maddening and almost always there is some work or the other. Since I was in IIT , I used to think that I will miss the lazy days of the campus..I will miss the comfort of being in jeans and t shirt ..I will miss the total lack of responsibility..etc etc..

However contrary to what I thought..I am loving it here. Although I get a wee bit nostalgic about my freinds like Pradeep and Vijay Venu...I really do not miss the lazy life in IIT. Not that the life was any cake walk but somehow it was way way less hectic than it is now. Here its the life of a ping pong ball..one bat to another...!

But somehow it never felt better. When I visit equipments, ships,shop floors and men at work...when I contribute something at a technical or managerial level..I feel so much more fulfilled. Its as if "this is where I belong..this is heaven". Maybe its the initial euphoria ..call it whatever you want ..but I feel great.

More so because slowly I am getting into a regular physical routine with games and run also..Plus there is something worth waiting for and I am enjoying aiting for that new arrival in my life..

All in all a good package if you discount my mothers comment "tu aaj kal kaun se orbit mein rehta hai..phone nahi kar sakta?"

Nice orbit...just a few revolutions to rev up the joy!

Unlucky with girls

I am at a stage when most of my coursemates are having kids ..generally three four year old tiny tots. And frankly I enjoy playing with these guys. I love it when a kid invites me to his world. I dont know if you ever feel this high..but I do .
It feels like an achievement for me to be trusted by a kid ..because that I take as the biggest endorsement of my character. I feel very proud of that fact that without any "baby talk" ..I get accepted by most of them.
I say most of them and not all..and one pecularity that I have found that while I share a very comfy relationship with guys like jassi and aru and sunny...the same cant be said about girls. I dont know why but somehow girl kids dont like me ....
I dont know why..I would really like to find that out.

Ek sawaal

Today I have the time to write a blog after a long time. And I got a topic thats worth it.

Ever since I had given my first interview I always used to wonder what was it to be on the other side. Finally today I had the chance to conduct a higher rank examination for sailors and conduct the exam and interview and I am pretty proud the way it went and kind of enjoyed the whole process.

After the three hours exam I had to take interviews of the Radio related technicians. But somehow ended up with Power related sailors. And the first interview itself was an expierance itself...

My first question: " Now ...draw me a ciruit of a full wave rectifier"

A: " Rectifier..mmmm..ummmm ? sirrr? "

Q: Ok,so what do u mean by a rectifier?
A: Rectifier ..ummmmmmmm

Q: Ever heard of a rectifier?
A: Sir, meri angrezi thodi weak hai...rectifier ..ummmm...

Q: Yaar, ek cheez bolo..heard of AC current? DC current?
A: Haan sir

Q: To bhai ..AC ko DC mein kaise badalte hain?
A:...sir, Battery se..!!!

Q: Cool...(!@!@#@#$##$$..FAIL FAIL FAIL)
A: thanks u sir


Q: Ab batao ki diode kya karti hai?
A: Sir, ye to nahin pata...

Q: Ok, bhai, chalo ur interview over! Bye bye
A: Sir ek cheez batani thi....agar aap ki permission ho to...

Q: Ershaad
A: Sir ,main teen baar pehle fail ho chuka hun..ye meri last chance hai....please agar aap kuch kar sakte hain...Main padhai mein thoda weak hun par baaki kaam kar leta hun...please thodi consideration kijiyega


NOWW COMES THE QUESTION

SHUD I TAKE THE HUMANITARIAN ASPECT AND PASS HIM(his pay and perks depend upon this exam ) ..? OR SHUD I FAIL HIM(because he well..is not simply worth passing?

WHAT DO U THINK I SHUD DO?What do u think I did?? ;)

My TV Times

I am not much of a TV watcher ..But while seeing the show called "India s got talent" I was set on thinking on one topic...Lets say two topics.
Topic One- Class Layers
I feel that stratification of human societal hierarchical layers is a reality and it will happen , no matter how much socialism you try to inject. There will be poor and rich ..there will be social classes. Its a fact of the human society that can be ignored at its own peril.

Now what differentiates a progressive and upcoming society is not the absence of class layers but something which I would call the " ease of transport"

Which means that one guy can travel the barrier with his own efforts and has to stay in his layer of choice only thru his own talents and efforts. For example as I saw in the show ,there is a mechanism to make the "poor" class the "rich" class.

Its a superficial show no doubt but it incorporates the "reward &punishment" philosophy that is the hallmark of all great social systems.

Its that method which eases the flow between layers of society . This ease is what is cool about the way India is moving.

Topic two-Article 377
The second was about article 377 which was the subject of much debate. Hearing the debates on TV made me think that how stupid we are. I mean I am actually thinking that how come we have so much time to debate if Anal Sex is a criminal act?
Wat that hell !! If some one wants to have sex ..in watever way how does it matter to society at large? How does that matter? Dont we have better things in life?
And why shud the homosexualism be criminalised? I seriously dont understand the logic. I am yet to see the connection between homosexuality and the holocaust or similar activities conducted by "healthy" minded heterosexuals.And this makes me feel depressed about India.

We can accept bad roads , bad sewerage, bad accounts ..but when it comes to homosexuals we are "oh so offended" .What shit is this? What one does in his/her bedroom is suddenly more important than medical facilities or infrastructure?

The point I am trying to make is that there is no basis of such "Criminalisation" when it has been scientifically proved that most men/women are born homosexuals. So wats the big deal. Let them get along with their lives.

Or lets have a law that says that having sex with your wife on sundays and religious holidays is criminal offence. Why not? As religions forbid homosexuality..so do they forbid any thing except praying on sundays! So no sex on sundays...

Making life simpler

I feel that we all have the capacity to make life simpler and more enjoyable in every aspect. The secret is to cut out peripherals. The corollary being that we waste major time on minor issues . Its evident in every aspect of our lives.
I will start with a simple example. I remember the time when I was very young and we had to travel by train. I remember that it was an evolution in itself. My mom would get up in the early morning ..cut and cook vegetables ..rice etc for journey. Fill in water bottles...pack cutlery and plates, dad would check that the towels are packed, every paper is ready, the fruits are packed and the auto is called in time etc etc. All this for a journey which would last at most 4 hrs.

Now I dont want to argue the parental love part of it. I am pretty clear about that. What I want to project is the fact that this evolution could be made simpler if you can cut out the peripherals . For example why should you worry the whole night about preparing food when its not necessary to have home made food in 4-5 hrs. Infact you have wasted 2 hrs in making food which could have been avoided by buying snacks.

I feel we do all this because we do not want to "miss out" any aspect. We want it "all" . So we want home made food, served in great plates and top it up by a great dessert. Why ? Why is it necessary to have all this? And why should we get into so much of trouble for so less pleasure?

The solution is to limit the search space for hapiness. And by that I mean to cut out peripheral issue. In the above example..the peripherals would be home made food, fresh towels, cutlery..etc. The essentials would be drinking water and the ticket.

Similarly if I concentrate on fewer things I will be able to do them better. Fewer freinds, fewer relatives, fewer obligations and fewer wants. I need not have everything ..In fact I have boiled down my wants to only one thing "Hapiness".
I will do things that lead me towards this simple want. I need not waste my time on peripherals like Social obligations, moral sense etc. If the peripherals can be avoided I will avoid them..if they cant be I will compromise till I can escape.
If I do something it will be purely from my hapiness point of view. There is no other logic. If I am happy killing some one I will do that ..! If I feel like learning a software I will do that ...If I feel like travelling I will do that.
My hapiness is the no frill aim of my life and that will make my life simpler . And thats the beaty of cutting out peripherals. Fewer issues, better focus and efficient use of resources.

Leaving Stuttgart

Today ..its now 630 pm. I will be leaving Stuttgart in almost 12 hrs . The party is done , gifts exchanged ..all formalities carried out ...and now I am in my office just whiling away time.
How do I feel leaving a place that was my workplace for 6 monthes?
How do I feel leaving the group of my freinds and collegues in Office? How do I feel walking out of this office and knowing that perhaps this is the last time I will see these guys in years if not decades?

I feel sad and somewat empty . And there is an awkward silence in the office . Adding to that mood is the overcast day , the usual busy hum drum at the office and the fact that I will not come to office tomorrow.

Will I miss Germany? Most likely not. Will I miss my collegues ..most likely. Will they miss me ? I dont know.

Most likely too is the fact that on reachin India ,I will be so caught up that the memories of germany will fade away soon.
Maybe for the first few days I will wake up in the morning surprised that I am not in hostel but at home. Maybe for the first few days I will get surprised at the food and noise. Maybe for the first few days I will not stop calculating in Euros...
But thats for first few days, later I will get used and maybe the memories of Germany will be a distant nostalgic moment.

Maybe someday I will meet Takafumi, Navid, Micha or Vishnja some where else and we will relive our days. But we will never be the one group we were here. It will never be the same. Maybe worse maybe better..but never ever the same.

This was a wonderful time ..despite the work pressure . I am used to such shiftings where you move out of familiar circles and jump right into unfamiliar teritories. Its nice in a way but sometimes it emotionally drains you.

Maybe its natures way of telling me to value the freinds I have , the time I have , the moments I have, the joys I have ..Instead of missing today for tomorrow!!

The clash of the titans

There is a small forest near the University in Stuttgart and sometimes I go for a run around the lake at its centre. It is a beautiful track and well kept.

The last time I went for a run I saw a lot of leech like creatures crawling on the forest floor at regular intervals. They are called slugs and although generally veeeeeryyyy slloooooww in movement they do try to move around. Even attempting to cross the forest paths in one sloooowww loooonnnggg trek.

I generally try my best to avoid stepping over them even though it means jumping half of the way. Frankly speaking I find their struggle to cross the forest path heroic. With their slow gait..this must feel like a marathon for them . But still they attempt it for food/sex/adventure..and I respect guys who attepmt heroic things so..kind of salute them as I jump over them. ;)

Anyway , they have got some company in slow mo world in terms of snails.

Now poor snails are not that great to look at but I always imagine them as school kids with a bag on their back and on their way to school. You know the "obedient types" who just look at the road and march ahead. I am sure that underneath that shell they have a small green water bottle and a neatly packed red and white tiffin box and their moms told them to go "straight to the school".

This forest is also full of the snails..small ones.

Yesterday as I was cooling down after the run I was stopped on my tracks by an interesting encounter. One slug was marching straight on to line of sight of an incoming snail. and they were like atleast 5 cm away from each other. This smelt interseting so I sat down on a nearby log and took in the scene.

The course of both of these guys were set and no one was even making any least attempt to change his/her course. So after an agoinising wait of 5 minutes ..the "thing" happened.
They both clashed head on. It was a scene to remember. I felt I was watching a slow motion crash of two armies. The slug had a minor compression of its body while the snail almost toppled over.

Now this was of course most inappropriate and they had no idea how to react. So after Mr Snail regained its balance and the slugs vibration came to an end, they again squared off. And again a "bang"

I felt that it was again a mistake and not a fight. Because after the second clash. Both of them looked around as if they were embarrassed to not look where they were going.
The snail was picking up his tiffin box while the slug dusted its coat and looked around. In a while somehow it looked as if they wre saying sorry and decided that the snail will take the right while slug will be on left.And soon they continued on their own slowfull and painfully long march.

For both creatures without a central nervous system to decide on the path to take after the clash..That was something that impressed me the most.

There is so much beauty ..If only we looked.

Borrowed Arguments

I am a pretty argumentative guy. I relish a good brainshaking argument. I like my ideas shaken , stirred..turned on my head . I like being given a perspective I missed out. I am an "argument for arguments sake" guy. I like to taste a sentence...In the sense that I like rolling it and looking at it from different sides. While I am lucky I have met a few guys who do not take arguments too personally ..I have been pissed off by a few "types" . I will try defining them

1. "I am important" Guys. These guys have had a mediocore life and have hit a jackpot once which is the defining moment . So they play it around with such aplomb that suddenly their argument becomes too personal. If you attack the logic they get sentimental.

2. "The Righteous" . The second variety are the "ethical" paper tigers. Their base logic is that the world is governed by the ethical code of conduct. So if its not "right" its obviously not true. They re most of the times the most hypocritical. And arguing with them is like having a bag of deep fried and stale chips. The taste is bad and you are left with bad farts.

3. "The super data banks" . They are one of the funniest because they tie themselves up in their own arguments by generalising facts. So if the sun rises in the east today..they are sure it will rise tomorrow and for a billion tomorrows(believe me there is a slim possibility that you wont see the sun tomorrow..there is no 100% chance that it will rise). Now these guys draw upon facts,documentaries and science to prove their case. Most often they borrow quotes and base their argument on authority. For example "bertrand russel said so.." hence its infalliable. But neverthe less they are the least bad of the lot. You may not gain in logic but yes an open minded discussion is still possible...

Now I come to the most virulent of the specis..The "borrowed arguments dealers"

4. Borrowed argument dealers. These are by far the most irritating of the lot. A strain of the super data banks these state "borrowed logic" from others without stating the source.

They are the most confident because they "know". They pick up argumental logic from religious gurus , management books , tv shows and present it. Since its a valid argument..sometimes I am stunned by the logic. But when reality dawns on the copyright..I am dissapointed.

The best part of the whole story is that majority of arguments spoil sports are the "borrowed" variety. And the most vociferous. They cant diffrentiate between a quarrel and logic. And when their sources are revealed they become violent.

As a non-violent man..I have decided that I will do my best to avoid them.